Nearly 4 weeks since i lost my baby boy. He was 3months premature and passed away at 7days old. Every morning i wake up and feel the most unbearable pain and i cant breathe. Mornings are reminders that he isnt here any more. I feel like i am dying every day and there are days that I feel i could die and wouldnt care about anything else or anyone else. I just want my baby back, he is all I need. Today I stared at his picture and was talking to him and realised he was born very early and 7days old but during this whole time especially when he got more sick, he was looking deep into my eyes and showing me he was fighting and i feel like he was telling me to fight too. Whilst i was looking at his picture today and talking to him, i feel like he was telling me to fight. I feel like he was telling me to fight now. My 7day old son was fighting and telling me to fight. I need him so much and i want him back, i cry everyday and its not fair he was taken from me. Now i feel so lonely, hes my life and i feel like screaming. At the same time he gives me strength and i always think about him staring at me and deep into my eyes tellling me “Mommy, I can hear you. Im fighting and i need you to fight from now on”
Hello @Nikki10,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share some places with you that can help you cope with grief.
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Sands - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society have lots of support on their website.
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Tommy’s support anyone with the loss of a baby. They have a helpline on 0800 0147 800 or email midwife@tommys.org. They also have a baby loss support Facebook group.
You may also want to look at these Sue Ryder resources.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
I am sorry you have had to go through this, your beautiful baby boy fought as hard as he could for you. Babies recognise us mums, we’ve carried them and they know our voice, even our smell. I truly believe your baby was reaching out to you because he knew you. When my son was born he had heart surgery at 3 days old and even though they had him paralysed his vital signs always picked up when I was around. When I was holding him he reacted to me, his pulse and blood pressure were so much better.