i had a very early miscarriage that was my first pregnancy all i can think about is the what if was it a boy or a girl what would it of looked like ect but the worst part it i didn’t even know i was pregnant until i miscarried i feel like i missed out i never had a test or a scan or anything to prove that my baby existed only a photo of it after it happened i just feel guilty i didnt know and even tho i couldn’t support a child right now i keep taking tests and hoping they’re positive because i dont want to miss my baby and i just feel like i keep thinking about like how big my tummy would of been or what their name would of been idk
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Hello @13jay,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your baby that brings you here.
You say you are feeling guilty and going over the ‘what ifs’ which is completely understandable, and something that lots of people who have lost a baby experience. You are not alone in how you’re feeling. @Emma26 has also posted recently about their miscarriage, and you may want to connect with someone who understands what you’re going through.
I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
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Tommy’s support anyone with the loss of a baby. They have a helpline on 0800 0147 800 or email midwife@tommys.org. They also have a baby loss support Facebook group.
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The Miscarriage Association offers emotional support and advice. They have a helpline on 01924 200799, or you can email them at info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing - please keep reaching out and remember that you are not alone.
Take care,
Harriet
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Hi 13jay I am sorry to hear about your baby. We often learn to appreciate what we have lost when faced with these terrible situations. My wife died on Christmas day. We had been together for forty years, it might sound like a lot but time rushes by so fast. I met her at eighteen. If I could go back in time how many more hugs and kisses would there be. We don’t realise how precious each moment is.
I hope you have a lovely life and children to adore.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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