Tears started as soon as I put the key in the door. I stay at our daughters on a Friday if she isn’t working, I go through late afternoon and see our grown up grandchildren for a family night and come home on Saturday morning. I had a lovely time last night and slept like a log but coming home to an empty house has really upset me today, I am usually ok so why today is bad I don’t know. I will stop rambling on and take our two little dogs for a walk.
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The walk was lovely, it is a beautiful Autumn day here in the North East of Scotland, a bit breezy but we are used to it. I am going to talk to someone on Wednesday so will see how it goes. Take care and be kind to yourself.
Jane
Even after 11 months, that moment of coming home still gets to me; and the drive back, too, knowing the house will be empty and cold. I don’t think that feeling will ever go.
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I’m at my parent’s house in Essex. Before reading your message’s I said to my Mum that I love my and Mr C’s home in Devon, but I know I will cry upon opening the door, then I’ll enjoy looking at everything we achieved together, then I will cry as I take my bags into our bedroom, then I will will be ok as I unpack, I will be ok putting bins out for Mon and then cry as I sit on the sofa…. 20weeks on I know how this goes, but the spaces of no crying are longer which is good…isn’t it? Uh oh, Sunday tomorrow 
I’m sending hugs to all now 
! X
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I know what you mean. I feel so alone. I just want to see my husbands smiling face and hear “cup of tea poppet?” Sometimes I think the price of love is too much. I don’t want to be here without him
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I just walk around the apartment sometimes looking in every room, I don’t know what I am looking for I just do it. I must think…keep moving and things will be ok, how strange is that.
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I done that, even imagined my mum sat on the settee. The grief is the same wether that’s a partner or a prarent. There’s no difference!
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Coming back to an empty house is one of the worse things. No noise, no lights on, just absence. I bought an Alexa in the Amazon prime sale. I can get the radio as soon as I walk in and am programming lights as well …. Just hope the loneliness gets better ….
Have a good evening everyone
Hazel
I have the radio or music on every day.
Yes, the empty house bit is very hard; and it took months before I was able to enjoy anything. You think you’ll never be able to enjoy anything ever again, but one day it takes you by surprise; a coffee with a friend, or a beautiful sunset, and you realise you’ve enjoyed it. Hope the bereavement session is ok.