Lost my wonderful Dad suddenly jan 8th . It has been terrible year so up and down . Grief is so debilitating as you all know. However the last few weeks i have plumetted again. I am dreading Christmas . I have never spent one without my parents . I have a stressful job which demands all my focus . People expect me to be better and i pretend i am but inside im broken. I just want to go to sleep and wake up after Christmas and the New year is over.
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Hello @Dalanwy, I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - I’m sure that someone will be along to offer their support. You’re definitely not alone in dreading Christmas 
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I lost my husband in april .im not looking forward to Christmas either .im going to my daughters .but knowing its without him his breaking my heart .like you the last few weeks have been awful .constantly crying and feeling so lonely .i wish i would wake up and it all be a bad dream .losing someone you love so much is horrendous .sending you hugs xx
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Also sending hugs! I know how you feel. Christmas is so much about family and when you don’t have your family it’s difficult. 
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I feel so low at the moment
My husband of 33 years passed away in October 2022 and like you all it was soul destroying but come August this year i thought i had turned a corner and decided that my husband (Bobby) wouldn’t want me to be so sad so i decided to try to move on
i had a couple of holidays with family and friends which i did enjoy …but for the past two weeks this grief has hit me again and i feel so so down
I don’t know if it’s this time of year, last year he was only 2 months gone at Christmas I got through it but looking back i think i was a bit numb and just going through the motions for my family
Now i feel i’ve been hit by a double whammy back to crying for the least wee thing, trying so hard to keep a smile on my face but dying inside
I hate this feeling… the loneliness and the feeling that this is never going to get better I keep saying that i’ve got to move on and try other things but i can’t seem to motivate myself Does anyone else feel like this? 
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@Dalanwy sorry for the spike in your grief. This time of year is very intense with the emphasis on family love and traditions. I think that’s why anyone grieving feels so especially weighed down by emotions. My Mum died in January so I can totally empathise with your experience this year. I’m hoping that once the next few months have passed I might be able to feel more positive about life and regain some joy. Keep going… it’s all we can do! Best wishes xx
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Thank you and Best wishes to you toox
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I understand . I’m getting fed up with saying (oh I’m ok ) just to make them fell less uncomfortable . So if I feel crap at the time that’s just what I will say which is mostly the later this is my second Christmas without my girl . Today 20th was the day I lost her the only words still devastated after 2 years . The profs say people start to feel better after the first 2 years well they didn’t ask me !!! All the best
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Im so sorry for everyone’s losses, grief is so very hard .it has floored me. I wonder how people get through it. I look around me and think there must be so many people feeling like me . I know people try to help but nothing does i particulatly hate it when people say oh he wouldn’t want you to be sad. Well i am i can’t switch it off i wish i could . Grief is so very lonely
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