Just got your message that this was meant for me. That’s so lovely. Thanks. Don’t worry, I don’t know which way is up on here sometimes and it’s only good luck that’s stopped me doing that too!
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Hi Ann
I have had a meltdown in B&Q just a few weeks after losing Brian, just as I thought how well I was doing. It hit me that he wasn’t outside in the car waiting for me. Supermarket was a total nightmare as in tears everytime. and don’t mention the bus!!! but eventually it does get better. Don’t try to stop those tears it will cause you more stress.
Oh gosh, that must have been awful for you. Did anyone help you or did you manage to hide it?
No, I won’t stop the tears although I don’t feel better afterwards, just exhausted.
Today, I have just found a crack in the wall in the lounge. Never rains but it pours!
To Ann and Pattidot,
I too have been there crying in the street well at the shore. Sometimes things just overtake us. it hard because you don’t know if you should try to stop it or to hide it. Sometimes you wish someone would see to care and sometimes you hope noone notices and sometiimes you just don’t care you are too wrapped up.
Also Ann about your crack, if its a crack in the plaster its easy fixed. just go to B&Q (a relative nightmare in itself right now COVID) and get some ready mixed plaster or you can buy a wee bag of powder follow the intrusctions and mix it up like you would icing sugar. Make sure it is really thick though and not watery. To give the plaster an extra elasticity you need to add an additive (you could probably google for others). My dad used washing up liquid to do this with cement I myself added plain white emulsion paint when plastering, a wee tester pot of emulsion would do this job. Although by adding a liquid additive to the plaster you need a lot less water. A cheap paint scraper from the pound shop and just fill it in and smooth it over. If you don’t want to do it yourself then thats what your kids are for. Just ask them. Take care
Thank you Pattidot and Meebee,
As for the crack, when I found it, I went into the room behind, and the crack shows there too!
I can’t understand why it has happened. We have lived here for 9 years and never had trouble before. So I don’t think I can tackle it myself (thank you Meebee for the brilliant instructions) and I have booked a Surveyor to come and look at it.
Now, the TV is playing up! Nothing like this seemed to happen while Tony was here and if anything did go wrong, he knew exactly what to do.
I wonder sometimes what we have done to deserve this. Losing someone is hell enough without things going wrong as well.
I am SO fed up today!
Definitely surveyor sounds the way to go, when it is elsewhere, I hope it is covered in your house insurance. That is a nightmare at the best of times but on top of everything else. urgh! I really feel for you . Take care.
Thank you Meebee. Talk about being hit when I am down! I must have done something terrible sometime in my life to have all this going on!
No definitely not (we all feel like that sometimes I do to I keep saying I must have been a bad person in a past life, (I am not sure I actually believe in past lives but it is just what i say too) but I do think that it is a weird phenomena that when you lose someone that other bad things happen too. And it all just makes it that much worse. Hope everything gets worked out okay. I hope the surveyor doesn’t give you too much bad news. Fingers crossed for you.
Thanks again.
It’s my birthday tomorrow so that will be one of the firsts I will have to get through without Tony. Instead of him bringing me tea and my cards in bed, I shall have to get up and put a brave face on it for when the family comes. I am so grateful that my family is amazing, and they all get on, thankfully. I turned down their offer of a meal out. Just didn’t feel up to it so they will bring cake and we will have coffee together.
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Forgot to say, the surveyor is an old friend of Tony’s and I haven’t seen him for about 10 years. We only tend to see him when we buy a house! Bless him, he is away until next week but is coming on Wednesday to try to sort me out. I feel safe with him and I know he won’t give me any old bulls…t. Hope you have a reasonable evening. X
Oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN 
May you have a lovely day in spite of everything. First anniversarys are the hardest be it anniversaries or birthdays, new years, xmas. Glad you have a lovely family to share it with you don’t have to be strong and put a brave face on it completely just go with what you feel if you feel like laughing and remembering all the happy memories of past birthdays yours and theirs and Tony’s. Or if you feel like having a moment and a wee bubble then go with it I am sure your family will give you a big hug. In the meantime am sending you a virtual one. Glad the surveyor is a friend that makes all the difference so they won’t con you. Also an added benifit despite the problem with the house is that you can have a great wee catch up and reminisce about all the good times you shared over a cuppa.
Thank you Meebee! Surprisingly, my birthday hasn’t been too bad. Family popped in and out all morning as work commitments allowed. I had said I wanted no fuss and they accepted that but insisted that I had presents and they were lovely. One of our sons-in-law and our young grandson trimmed ivy for me, Our two daughters ended up staying until about an hour ago and had lunch. They are coming back on Tuesday to help with more paperwork.
That said, this first birthday without Tony was still very painful and it didn’t seem real without him there, but I got through it. It made me realise though that whatever other celebrations I go to, I will always still be without him so they will always feel incomplete. I can’t see this despair ever easing deep inside me, however much I put a brave face on it and that is heartbreaking. I love and miss him so much.
Must cheer up and treat myself to a large vodka and ginger I think!