Bad day

Coping with bereavement
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It’s 71/2 months since my partner passed away… Today felt like it was yesterday. I miss him. I honestly think if there was an easy way out I would take it. I can’t talk to anyone to share this. My children don’t get in touch very often whether they think I’m OK or just don’t give me a thought I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do where to turn…

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Hi Sue,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There are lots of other support options out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support, Sue, so please do get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

Michelle

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Hi Sue69,

Your doing better than you think, you say “you don’t know where to turn”, well you did good coming here, sharing with those who really do understand and know unfortunately first hand what you are feeling your,

Your children are going through their own grief, losing a partner is very different to loosing a parent, they would never quite understand the same as someone who has been through that same loss, every one is different and grief is a very personal thing we all experience alone deep inside ourselves,

7 an a half moths is still in my opinion very early days, reading posts on this site from many who have suffered their loss years ago still have worse days, I think it’s something we have to learn to live with and except, as hard as that is,

I am only just coming up to 14 weeks, life without my soul mate will never be the same, but I try to take one day at a time, and live it for my dear husband, who I am sure didn’t want to leave this world or me and our family,

Every time I accomplish something that he would have normally done, I smile at his photo and know how proud he would be, sometimes I’m not as successful, and just tell him “oh well, I’ll get a new one”.

It’s the little things that keep me going, keep me putting one foot in front of the other just one day at a time, if I have a worse day I console myself by saying tomorrow might not be as bad, I know each day is hard, but its also different. Thoughts of him not wanting me to feel I can’t cope, are what helps me cope, it’s for him, everything I do is for him, I miss him tremendously,

It’s sad we are all on this site, but it’s also good that we have it, because it can and does help.
Keep reading, writing, along with the crying, it’s all a release.
Hugs to you x

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Hi I’ve had a bad day too, it doesn’t help not being able to sleep and you’re right we may be surrounded by family who are also grieving but to lose your other half, soulmate and best friend it’s monumental, I try to explain to my son how deep the sorrow but there are no words, my husband said when he was told they could do nothing more for him and he had weeks to live he was in a deep dark tunnel with no way out and I’m now in that place but I know that I have to just keep plodding on, force myself to get up and I have to believe at some point there may be a chink of light, I listen to Tom on YouTube ‘if tomorrow starts without me’ which gives me comfort that my husband may say those words to me, it always makes me cry but I know the pain is because I loved and was loved so very much and it is all worth it for the incredible life we had together and that is what we can all hold onto, I’m sorry for your loss and be kind to yourself, it’s early days for all of us I’m at eight weeks and can’t believe I have lived this time without the love of my life by my side, we always said together forever, the reality is that we will never get over this dreadful tragedy but if we keep talking to each other and recognise our feelings are normal for our situation, we’re not on our own, sending hugs xx

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Hi Sue…
Bless you…
I lost my husband and partner and Go To person and best friend 3 weeks ago very suddenly…
I live with my 90 year old Mum and she is feeling the strain of the last 3 weeks so I have to live one life with her, and another in another room sobbing my heart out. The pain is overwhelming…
Tonight we watched a Shirley Bassey concert and when she sang All My Life I thought my heart would break…
When Mum went to bed I went straight to this website and yours was the first post I saw…
My heart goes out to you…
All I can say is that our loved ones are so very much loved and grief is the price we are paying for that tremendous love…
Please know that you are not alone with that grief…

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Sorry… The Shirley Bassey song was called As I’ve Loved You… (Not All My Life.) .
I am going to stop listening to songs like that for a while…
They add to the pain