Bad day

Another bad day, lost my partner of 18 years suddenly in Feb, he was 36. We have a 4 year old and it’s just so hard without him. It’s just been fathers day which was very emotional. An as was a unexpected death coronor and police still involved but everything keeps getting delayed. Can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyone got any positives I could take, as struggling so bad right now x

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I am going to share a picture of two cards my friend sent me and told me to put up somewhere so I put them on the fridge,. If you can print the picture off or draw it onto some paper and put it up - I am passing it forward!

Beki x

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Thank you xxx

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Dear @Claire84

I am sorry to hear you are having a bad day. Grief is such a rollercoaster of emotions and sometimes it feels there are more bad days than good days.

Not knowing the circumstances of the sudden death of your partner, I would like to guide you to an organisation which may be of support to you. It is called Sudden and they have useful resources and provide support after a sudden death. It may well be worth having a look at the website.

Here at Sue Ryder there is a useful Grief Self-Help Service that contains supportive information and it will also help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.

Unfortunately when the Police and Coroner are involved in an unexpected death this can take a little longer but hopefully you soon will get a response from them.

Have you considered talking to your GP to see how they can support you as you are struggling? There might be local Bereavement Support groups in your area or you may wish to consider Counselling for someone to talk to.

I will would like to direct you to the Samaritans for someone to talk to straight away if needed. They are available 24/7 for free on 116 123.

Take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself. Grief has no time limit and you take it at your pace. There are members on the forum you can connect with by typing in the search bar Loss of a Partner who have experienced what you are going through. The support here is incredible.

Please do not feel you are alone. We are all here for you and your daughter. Continue to reach out any time and if you need further information please contact the online.community@sueryder.org.

Take care.

Pepsi

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Thank you.
I am having some face to face counselling at the moment which does help. It’s just so hard. Am trying to be positive for my daughter and his mum and dad, just seems like no one understands how am feeling going from being with someone everyday to nothing.

Claire xxx

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Hi Claire, I was so touched by your post. So sorry you lost your darling soulmate so suddenly and at such a young age. I can imagine what you’re going through right now. I also lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly, due to a cardiac arrest,a year and a half ago. One minute he was there, the next he was gone. He was only 57,fit and healthy, no warning signs. We had only just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary that same year. My two grownup kids who live with me give me strength to carry on. I can understand how hard now it must be with your little son, but he now will help you and give you courage to carry on, you created your beautiful child together, he is a part of your beloved and you now need each other so much. Your love for your partner and special memories will always be with you,this cannot be taken away from you this will help you along. You have done the right thing sharing your thoughts here, it does help to talk to others who are unfortunately in the same situation. We can all relate to each other perfectly.
Sending you lots of comfort.
Take care.

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Sorry, just noticed my mistake. I wrote ‘son’ instead of ‘daughter’. Forgive this oversight.

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Thank you so much for your reply.
Yes my little girl is getting me through each horrid day. I have an amazing family but still feel alone too. I am not living at my house at the min I visit of a day but night times are too painful when the house is quiet. We had lived together for 12 years but then had our own house for 9 it’s just not the same. So staying with my parents at the moment till I find the strength to go back. I won’t move none of his things neither at the moment.

Take care thanks again for replying means a lot xxx

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Hi Clare, so sorry for your loss, you are so right about no one understanding, I think that is why this forum can be helpful as you can express openly your feelings and others here do understand.
I have emotions that I have never known and find it frightening at times, what keeps me going is the knowledge my Carole would want me to and I imagine your partner would too.
Things do improve, I am no longer feeling suicidal and have managed to put a few work hours in, you have your little girl, hopefully at some point you can chat to her about her dad and be able to smile at the memories.
I have found counselling has helped me, don’t know if that is an option for you.
All of my wife’s things are as they were, I find it a comfort and will often smell her clothes and spray her favourite perfume, I think we do whatever can help us, no right or wrongs.
As I have said elsewhere, people have managed to find some kind of happiness, although life has changed forever their can still hopefully be times when we feel more at peace and positive.
Sending you love and hope at some stage you and your daughter will be able to smile together at all the beautiful memories you must have.
Joe x

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Thank you for replying.

This is great, as you say it’s a place where people understand what we are going through.

I think there should be more face to face groups in local areas to help too.

Yes am getting some counselling too, which dies help. I think it’s just the unknown aswell at the moment as the coronor and police reports keep getting delayed.

Please take care xxx

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