7 weeks since my husband died and the days just keep getting harder.
Two of my children broke down yesterday (16 & 19) struggling to cope with the loss of their amazing dad and I feel so overwhelmed with having to do everything in the house and be there for them when they need me.
I am trying to get out and see friends, and am trying new activities so that I can start to make new friends and hobbies, as me and my husband were very family based and did lots of activities together as well as with the younger kids.
Friends and family are drifting off and although I have a couple of good friends who are really supportive I feel I am a burden on them.
I feel so alone and overwhelmed with sadness. I know I have to go through this but it’s so hard and so painful and I worry I will never get through to a new normal.
Not that I want to anyway.
Thanks for listening - is good to know that I am not alone on this terrible journey.
Strength and love to all of us searching for some comfort here. 
You are very early on with this journey, I lost my husband February 23, so should expect things to be dreadful and feel like you’re in a complete mess. I know those first few months I felt like I was in a foggy dream, just waiting to come out of it. This site is a really good place to come and say things because everyone here will understand what you are going through. If people want to help, let them, even recently I had a bit of a blip and my friends all came round at different times to talk to me. Take whatever help you can get and don’t worry if you don’t feel like going out and would rather stay indoors and curl up in a ball, that’s fine. This is one of those occasions when we need to listen to what our heads and bodies are telling us rather than force ourselves to do things we think would be the right thing to do. Take care Gail xx
Thanks @Guineapig65 for your kindness and wise words.
I am trying to keep afloat but it is heartbreaking to see my kids so upset when I can’t do anything to make it better for them.
I am also terrified of becoming like my mother who has let her grief consume her over the 6 years since my dad died, and who has just given up on life, never going out or looking after herself and refusing all offers of support and treatment.
I wish she hadn’t, as I really need her now - but she is unable to see past her own sadness and give me any support that is helpful. I don’t want that for my children as they need me as their mum to be there for them right now.
I know it’s early days but people ask when I’m going back to work - I work directly with suicidal teenagers so I am not emotionally able to offer them the support they need at the moment, but people really don’t seem to understand that it’s not just “ back to normal “
It’s helpful to just to vent on here and know that others truly understand.
It’s not something I have ever done before and I am so surprised how reassuring the kindness and understanding is from all.
Sending hugs and strength to all of us feeling the same way.
Hi, and you really are very early to worry about too much other than getting up and so please don’t beat yourself up. I am, today, 14 weeks into my journey and I know it is very early for me. I work in an emergency department and believe me it is too difficult to work in a place with so many triggers. I have a further 2 weeks off. It is hard not being at work but I have listened to work. I will return and stay next time. I had tried to go back after 5 weeks, a massive mistake in my case. Don’t feel pushed into returning as you will set yourself up for a fall, give yourself time. I hurt so very much still and I cry every day, my husband died very suddenly.
All I do is try and fill my time. The Dr suggested a to do list which is helping and I am reading too. I will be thinking of you and hope you get enough rest and look after you…which I find difficult x
Thanks @Geebee1
You are right, It is early days but then also feels like it’s been a lifetime.
I’m trying to fill my time so I have some respite from the pain but I think I need to also allow myself to just cry and be sad.
I try keep my crying for when my daughter has gone to bed so it doesn’t upset her too much seeing me like that.
Support and hugs to you as we all journey on.