Just needed to share I am having one of them bad days that we all talk about. I ran across a pair of my son’s old sneakers yesterday and I have been sad and crying ever since. The sneakers brought back so many memories as when I bought them, what he did in those sneakers ,and conversations we had about those colorful funky sneakers. Those sneakers made me miss him so bad. It’s so true you never know when a grief burst is going to hit you. You can be in one stage and getting better and then BAM something can knock you back just like that. Sadness doesn’t last very long, when it happens, but still it reminds you that we will go back and forth on this grief journey.
Hi Racy, I am so sorry you’re having a bad day, it is awful how things can trigger emotions isn’t it? I fully empathise with you, its four weeks today I lost my son and I feel so utterly helpless, despairing and devastated. I can’t stop crying and just want to hide away from the world, which probably doesn’t help but feels necessary.
I hope you have a brighter day tomorrow. Sending love and hugs xx
Thank you Susan I appreciate it, and I hope you start to feel better also day by day. In the beginning I used to hide away from the world also but little by little I am stepping back out into it seems like such a different world now.
Hi Racy, yesterday was a bad day for me too. Just like you with the sneakers, I came across something that set off endless tears. For me, it was a beautiful card my son painted for me a few years ago - a picture of tulips in a vase. He was a talented artist. But it was not just the picture, it was the words he wrote on the back that had me sobbing. I found it when I was tidying up some paperwork.
I’m currently suffering from Covid, on top of grieving.
I know there are going to be more “bad days”. I do take comfort from being with my other children and grandchildren, but I can’t see them at the moment. I am trying to be strong for them - I don’t them worrying about me.
On this site, we have to be strong for each other. Because we are the only ones who know how it really feels to lose a beloved child.
Wishing everyone here a calm day. Hold on to happy memories. We are not alone, although it feels like it. Sending love.
I saw the title “Bad Days” and decided to write here. I was trying so hard to be positive today but I have just had a call frok the funeral parlour telling me that the emballmer doesnt think it is a good idea to see Niall. It has really upset me because I had planned to go and see him every day until his funeral next Wednesday…now I can’t. Another smack of finality just punched me.
Sorry for moan just needed to get it off my chest.
Love to all xx
So very sorry. We all have “bad days” and we live in hope that some days will be a bit calmer and more bearable in between the bad ones.
That’s why it’s good to have this site to write on, to share our sorrows.
From one Susan to another - take heart.
Love to all of you out there xx
I was doing so well or so I thought until today! It is our wedding anniversary and usually first thing in the morning my daughter would call, especially on special days. Today no call could come and it really hit home hard, and I longed for the sound of her voice one more time! I know we will have lots of other firsts and my goodness how they contribute to a bad day!
Susan 94 you’re not moaning you’re just sharing that must have been a terrible thing to hear it would of upset me also. The twist and turns we encounter on a daily basis. Sending much love
You are so right Susan there will be more bad days for sure. It’s just when they happen it feels like your heart is hurting and the missing is so intense. I feel for you having covid and feeling down already and to come across a trigger just makes it worse. I will be happy when I reach the point of seeing or hearing a trigger and be able to smile about it instead of crying. Hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss Buff. Sorry to hear that you had to go through that. The longing can feel so deep sometimes and painful. Today I was in the store and I saw my son’s old daycare provider. It brought back memories of when my son was little and I started tearing up. Thinking about how I used to take him to daycare and pick him up and he would be so happy to see me. He was 22 when he died, but triggers can take you back to when they were little and all the things that happened and they did when they were growing up. Like I was saying to Susan I hope there comes a day when I can look back on memories and smile, but I’m not there yet.
That completely sums up the emotion that comes over the smallest of triggers. I am only into the first few weeks of the grieving process, and I guess still a little in the feeling of disbelief that we have lost our daughter. This was the first instance when I have fully understood she is not there, and it truly took me off my feet! I have done so well keeping it together to support her husband and her dad, that I worried I wasn’t truly grieving!
Buff yes you are in real early days you will go back and forth as far as believing they are gone. I still do that some days I can’t believe that he is gone. Your emotions will go up and down like a roller coaster they will calm down eventually but it takes a bit. You might think about her 7 days a week when you wake up but then it might go to 6 days a week it might not seem like anything but that is progress. The first few months were the hardest for me and then the pain lessened some. Little by little I noticed that I wasn’t crying everyday or catch myself smiling which at that time I thought it was wrong, but those are the little things that give you hope and tells you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a hard journey, but I feel we all will get there in our own time and see that light.
Ye I also have triggers like that just thinking about my son who died just last year makes me cry at anytime. I have this attitude that I don’t really want to be here. But I have a husband, another son, and grandchildren who all say they need me.
Yes Sylvia it’s really hard to deal with the daily triggers they can come out of nowhere and sometimes you will get a wave of grief and you don’t even know where it comes from. I am better than I was 4 months ago, but there is still a underlying sadness. I hope you get better also and the triggers won’t make you cry but make you smile that is what I am looking forward to in the future.