Bad dream

I’ve woken up and feel devastated all over again. The dream I had involved me being in a pub with my husband. There were lots of different rooms in the pub and I couldn’t find him. I was searching rooms and faces and I was feeling panicked. I rang him and his phone went to answer phone. I then met a couple that I knew and they blanked me and ignored me. I was on my way to check if our car was still in the car park - to check if he’d really left me there when I woke up.
I feel drained and really upset again, when I’ve had a few easier days recently. When will this get easier?

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My dear Flossy

I’m so sorry you are feeling upset and sad again after your dream, especially as you say you felt you were doing better. Grief is awful like that and we can’t escape it even when asleep.

It sounds as though you are doing well but - your dream has just reminded you how lost and empty you can feel, and that nothing is the same without your husband. I hope others reach out to you on here, people who are going through the same experiences as you, or who have come through that time and can offer hope.

My thoughts are with you and do let us know how you are getting on.

Miche24

My friend @Flossy3 - I am so sorry. Dreams can be so unsettling. My sleep pattern is all over the place, and my dreams are odd - always a feeling that something is wrong, something is missing. T is missing - and has been since he died in January. It will be three months on Sunday. I think I have come to understand that grief is not linear. I can feel fine too, and then suddenly, boom - grief jumps me again. It is an ocean, pulling us along in currents we cannot control. This, sadly, is how it is. But as we walk through the days and months, maybe we can get more accustomed to it and know how we can deal with it. I am hoping so. For now, try and do something nice for yourself today. You have had a shock with this dream, so may try something gentle, that you enjoy. Or chocolate! I find chocolate can help. Hold tight there, my friend.

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It does get easier with time please try and work through it

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I hate those types of dreams, I feel for you

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Yes it does get easier just have to plan a sort of new life

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Dreams can be so unsettling and yours really sounds unpleasant. Grief dreams can be hard, particularly when they force us to face our loss or present what we have lost in a different way. I believe they are our heart and brain’s way of helping us heal and come to terms with our loss and find a way forwards.

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I just never got the help with dealing with my mother in law and I let her down big time I ll never see another day personally

‘grief is not linear’ is a good way to describe it. sometimes i feel like I’m ‘OK’ and feeling better and more stable and then other times (like now) I’m back in the very depths of my grief and I don’t know how to find my way out again.

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