I’m having such a bad day today and the last few weeks. I know It’s only 8 weks since i lost my husband but if feel like i am getting worse. I miss him so much, keep going over the things that i maybe could have done differently, but could i? it was all such a massive shock and no time to get our heads around what was happening.
I know I need to concentrate on the good times but is so hard. I just do nothing all day, like a zombie on caffine. I have no idea how I will get through this.
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I feel your pain and it’s bloody hard. I’m lying in my bed now and crying and thinking to myself if I knew cpr could I have saved him? If we weren’t on holiday and it happened at home would he still be here? Our minds play sick and cruel tricks on us. I feel I could stay in bed all day but what will that achieve?! It’s like living in a nightmare you can’t wake up from or being on a rollercoaster you can’t get off. Sending you a hug…
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I can relate. I loss my husband 7 weeks ago and it’s so raw. I found him dead in his office. I keep thinking if only I went to the office sooner things would be different. People tell me remember good time but all I can do is cry. My heart is broken. Sending hugs
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Hi ! Based on the fact that you are 8 weeks into losing your husband my feeling is that it can’t get any worse,it may just be that the reality of your tragic loss is beginning to sink in.
I’m six months into this horrific journey that we didn’t choose but I can absolutely relate to how you feel,only yesterday I had to pull myself back because the tears and pain felt so bad I genuinely believed that I was going to make myself ill.
Like all of us you wonder if you could have done anything different and maybe you/we could but I doubt anything would have changed what has happened for any of us. This feeling is part of grieving.
Doing nothing all day is fine,don’t beat yourself up about that because when you are ready that will change and again remember that the pain of loss is so raw that nothing makes sense right now. Take things a little at a time,life for now is about the pain that you are feeling and getting through the next hour or day and it isn’t easy so do what you need to do to cope.
Like you I miss my partner so much,not hearing her voice,being able to talk to her,touch her just everything is so painful but it isn’t going to get better until it’s meant to. Keep posting on here and hopefully we can all help support you in some small way.
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I get awful days 14 months on
I can do less now as getting older and it feels so hard. Just sdvi feel maybe I get somewhere no I don’t back to square one
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Thank you all. It is so hard for all of us and I know it is early days for me. Iv3e just realised that I’ve done nothing again today.
This site is a godsend to me bcause I know I’m not alone and can’t actually believe how many of us are suffering.
Thank you for taking the time to reply, it means so much 
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I have loads days do nothing
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@MrsSutty its 18 weeks tomorow for me, and i do honestly feel what you say about it getting worse… i found the first 4-8 weeks i was just running on autopilot and had so much to sort etc that i was constantly running on adrenaline… it was after everything had been sorted, that the reality hit me and it really knocked me off my feet, to the point i was petrified as not only was i so emotionally broken i felt so much physical pain…
now i just feel numb, empty, alone, scared… but have kind of accepted that’s my life now? i don’t want it to be as i have 3 children youngest is 9 and she really is my little angel and i know i have to try somehow to keep going for her and try give her as much of a happy childhood as i can. i just know it will never be the childhood she would of had if shaun was still here… it’s so hard! really hate to think of others feeling the pain and sadness i do. sending you lots of love xx
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Sending massive hugs. I cant believe that this is my life from now on, it’s just awful. I feel so sad and lonely. Wanting to understand what i will never be able to, why him?
My dad died when i was 8 and my brother 12. It was a massive struggle for my mum but she found the strength and i really hope you do too, your children will hopefully keep you going. Just take one day at a time and dont beat yourself up if you have a bad day, we’re all allowed them. Look after yourself and thank you for replying xx
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@MrsSutty i know i ask myself the same everyday “why him?” it’s so unfair and cruel!
shaun was so fit and healthy, literally turned 40 the 17th july to be told the 28th he had stage 4 cancer, and lost his battle just 6 weeks later…
it was the most horrific time seeing him in so much pain and watching him slip away from us…
i’m so sorry to hear you lost your dad at such a young age! i always wonder how the kids are feeling and will they be ok?
i know i have to be strong for them but it’s just so worrying as he was our rock and looked after us all and now we’re all just completely lost x x
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Hello MrsSutty.
I understand to a certain degree of what you mean I’m eleven weeks into losing my fiancé, he was 57 I’ve just turned 51…
There seems to be no sense in anything, only drinking tea and staring into space
X
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My partner died very suddenly in May ,I found him in the garden,at first I was just numb with shock everyone around me was crying but I was so calm it was like watching a movie.I was the same at the funeral totally numb and can’t really remember much of it,however a couple of months later reality set in and I just cried and cried every day now I still have bad days and it just comes out of the blue .
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At the funeral had the verse from Bible read out about there is a time to live and time to die etc.
I suppose I thought that. It kinda helps to think it was the time as it was exactly same amount of time his mother lived. He copied her attitudes as well. I look back at all the photos of his life and see how he changed slowly getting from a very strong person doing back flips to an old doddery person all the life shown on him. He died at 76 nearly 77. He tried his best to beat it. But beat him. But never lost his sharp mind. So that never went. It is so sad looking at his life taken away earlier than I would have wished. But I am so glad for times we were together more recently. They were hard loads trips to hospital and just sinking. But those times were precious.
I regret the times I felt were wasted when couldn’t go on holiday as he had declined. But I am so glad for the happy times we did have. So sad for what went wrong. I look round and there is all the detritus of our life together. Look at what we did when he was here at this time of year and I won’t be bothering on my own. I struggle but I think what would he say? He is with me in my mind. I still have cry but it is almost 14 months now but I am not out of the woods at all. But I suppose I have got used to it somewhat.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is a terrible journey we find ourselves on and unfortunately for us all, there are no short cuts, and especially early on, we see no end in site. I lost my husband suddenly, last May, he was only 60. I have no children and no immediate family here. I would like to tell you it gets easier, but I cannot, as I haven’t reached that point yet. As difficult as it is, you need to try and look after yourself, eat if you can, even if it is a bowl of cereal, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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I feel the same, 9 months since my husband died and I just find my days are empty and pointless. The pain of losing him is just too much at times. Thank goodness I have now found this forum and finding out I am not alone. x
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I also have no children and no immediate family whatsoever is a very lonely scary road we are on.
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I lost my husband 10 months ago and its no easier today than the day he died. I think the reality that this is forever and he is never coming home is beginning to sink in. I do have better and worse days and i hope for all of us the better days become more frequent.
Sending love to everyone suffering loss. Xx
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I feel your pain. it’s nearly 7 weeks since i lost my husband. I feel i am getting worse. I want to go to bed and not wake up. 5 months after he was diagnosed with cancer, he passed away peacefully in our bed. I can’t believe I won’t see him again. After 50 years together I feel what is the point of living.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. 7 weeks is such a short time the feelings will be very raw. I found talking helped me and am lucky to have supportive friends and family. I hope you find someone you can talk to and just cry if that is what you need to do.
Sending you love and hugs. Xx
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