I lost my dad just over 6 weeks ago. I was very close to him and knew I’d miss him terribly. Unfortunately I wasn’t there when he died but got there about 5 minutes after and that image has stuck with me ever since-even though I’ve been looking at nice photos of him to try and block it out.
I know 6 weeks still isn’t that long, but I feel worse now than I did a few weeks ago. I’ve started seeing his face from right after he died, even more now.
Is this ‘normal’? I wouldn’t particularly have expected to start feeling worse than a few weeks ago, but maybe it does happen?
So you also felt worse 6-7 weeks later for example than you did 2-3 weeks after it happened? I guess it must be reality hitting.
Yeah I’ve honestly felt awful this week…really upset! I don’t like bothering people too much about it, but at the same time feel like I need to talk about it to feel better.
Hi, I lost my wife around 11 months ago. I muddled along for the first 4 -5 months, don’t get me wrong it was tough going but I felt I was doing alright. Then the shock wore off and I was back to square one, it all just came piling in and I fell apart again. It’s taken me till recently to feel some form of stability again. The delayed reaction/realization seems to be quite common.
@AlieC Lost my Dad in March, emotions come in waves, but I must admit, I feel worse now that reality has caught up with me. I just can’t picture him alive, all I see is him dying & the aftermath of that. I think all of these things are normal. You’ve had a massive shock. Bereavement is a trauma so just take things a day at a time. I can be fine & then I remember he’s really gone
It is very normal to feel worse weeks later. Even if we know someone is ill and what the outcome will be I think we are still in a state of shock when it happens. It’s survival mode, planning funeral and people are there supporting. After that the emptiness and devastation of the loss sets in, or at least that was the case for me. Everyone goes back to their lives except yours is now forever altered.
My dad means the world to me and it will soon be a year since he died. I still miss and think about him everyday.
You are at the start of an unpredictable and daunting grief journey. At times I thought I was coping better and then felt worse again. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to feel a certain way by a certain time. The grief will lead you.
First 2-3 weeks I was in shock and traumatised a bit numb as it was so sudden … after 6 weeks to now I’ve felt deeply deeply sad … everyone is different . There is no right or wrong .
One day at a time . I have the odd ok day these days … I’m at 3 months x
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. Thanks for sharing your experience. I guess it all effects everyone differently. I hope you continue to feel a little better and more able to cope.
Thanks for your advice. Sorry to hear about your dad too, but it’s good to know it isn’t just me feeling so up and down. I am trying to take things one day at a time, so we’ll see how that continues to go. Hope things improve for you.
I was definitely in shock, even though my dad had been ill for a few years. I knew it was coming but it still hit me hard. I guess it must be that and how survival mode keeps you going…reality has definitely started to hit home now though.
I’m sure you miss and think about your dad all the time-I know I will forever, too. I hope things start to feel better for you soon!