I have had the most terrible week and i don’t see anything changing I miss paul so much I just need him to give me a cuddle to be there with me and I know he cannot be 5here for me its awful feeling this way all of the time I wish I was strong enough to go out into this big world and make some friends but I cannot do that is frightens me as I could get hurt and that is something I cannot take as I have enough pain in my life its never been easy for me to make friends , as a couple we had friends that we went on holiday with but they have all passed away so that leaves me on my own nobody to go on holiday with nobody for days out or meals or coffee I feel so alone and so empty I really don’t know how to cope with this at all
Hi @Sassychic
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community. I am sorry your week has been so hard 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi alex
You think someone will talk to me there time well that is never going to happen i woke up again this morning alone and very fragile another day without paul i wish someone would tell me why , people say i am to talkative so i shut myself down and go quite i have done this all my life it is my way of coping with them i actually hate myself for doing this , hate myself in general i am not the good looking person that my husband saw i feel i am the ulgiest woman alive inside and out nobody will ever look at me and see me ever again the one guy that did that has gone and i can never have that back again i lost so much that nite , we had so much planned when we where younger early retirement , holidays of a lifetime ,australia ,and to travel the al over this country and visit all the places we had never been to that will never happen for me now as i have no one that would ever want to go with me and why would they miss talkative , miss not the prettiest nobody wants that now do they thats why i stay indoors away from the world then no one can hurt me one of my nieghbours did it to me and i was only bieng polite but he told me he did not have time as he had not seen his kids all day so i apoligised and retreted back into my own world and shut it all out it is so much easier than trying to talk to people , i have a great niece she is only 5 she is just like me talkative i only hope.nobody in this world ever tells her to be quite as it so good to talk i would never want her to feel the way i do with no one to talk to ,no one who will take you out , no one tp be your.friend it is not.a very nice feeling at all i have put enough on here you will tell me to be quite and why not everybody elso does
So sorry to read your message as you are bereaved like all of us on here and you are depressed as well as we’ve all either have been or still are.
Seems like you have a self dislike thinking you’re not worthy of friendships. That you are too talkative thinking you’re not pretty or attractive enough.
Friendships do not depend on how you look they depend on the person you are and how you grow within that friendship. It’s a matter of give n take in any relationship. The same as when our partners were with us.
It sounds like you have or could have a closeness with your young niece so why not have her over as children make us laugh n forget our troubles n upset for a while.
Have you spoken to your doctor, they can put you in touch with various help.
Is there a church you could attend and make new friends.
There’s lots out there if we look for it but it starts with your mindset.
It’s tough and it’s hard for all of us on here but we can only try. That’s all we have.
I’ve had a very weepy week for no known reason and I know that it will pass but I have to make that happen and believe me I’m not always strong.
Please reach out, there are people out there to help and stop thinking you are ugly on the outside as well as the inside. You will have good qualities you just need someone to help you find them again..
Hi mitzi 1
Thank you fir your kind words but i will never put myself out there i never want to get hurt abd that world is full off hurt i have done this for 5 years now and cannot imagine ever going to meet anybody i was never like that at all i have never lived on my own this is the first time in my life that i have had to do that done everything with paul mow no paul just me and i dont know how to cope.or do this without him i am sorry you have had a weepy week just like me its crap i know it but i feel so much safer in my house i am so frightened to get hurt aa that is one thing i cannot cope with i was never the prettiest girl Never had a boyfriend in highschool at all not until i met paul that is how it was for me so i know i am not a pretty looking woman and most people like looks rather than whats inside , i never have my little great niece over to see me and i cannot pluk up the courage to go and see here she has her grandparents for that and me well i never want to be that burden on them this is my probkem not theres nobody needs me.now and i know it thats how life is
I feel so sad for you.
Obviously you are very down and it’s hard to try n mix again but like I say maybe try with church.
People are kind and you must try n realise you are not on your own but you must reach out.
Majority of people are not out to intentionally hurt others.
I’m wasn’t implying another relationship I was talking about friendships. You say you can talk, well lots of us women can talk so is there any women coffee mornings such as at the library or community centre.
You sound very alone with your thoughts but we all try n help on here.