Bah New Year

Oh man, I thought Xmas was bad enough but tonight surpasses my worst nightmare. Can’t stop sobbing for my husband and I don’t want anyone to say “happy” new year to me so I won’t be answering the phone I just can’t face it.

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I have never much liked new year as its a step forward and I like to live in the past that was better days. But this year I just wanted to see this year gone. Finding strength when I have none or cant be bothered to find some is how last year ended.

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Know the feeling I could have written what you just said still up thinking about the future so hard. I have also sobbed my heart out tonight. Hope you get some rest maybe hopefully our pain will ease but don’t know when.
Sending a hug x

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Dear kim5, and tillwemeetagain, thanks for responding to me, I’m still awake and calmed down a bit. I just felt so upset that yes it’s good to see the back of 2020 but my husband was still alive then. I too hope your pain eases, and that we all recover from this awful suffering we all are going through. Take care hugs and much love to you. Margarita xx

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It’s an unreal feeling that now my husband died last year and this year and all future years he will have no part in. I absolutely hate it. I had to ignore the messages last night but reading them this morning has sent me into a downward spiral.

2020 was the best and worst of years (I loved the extra lockdown time with my husband ) but all years can only be worse now as he won’t be in them and more people will be lost…

My brother is in my support bubble and was supposed to visit also which I really look forward to but he has been taken ill.

I feel despair but try to rein myself in and just concentrate on the next half hour. Good luck to all with coping however you can x

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Finding it comforting that others are feeling the same way as me. I do not want to let go of last year (she died in July) however I need to, so as to embrace the future, I will carry this for the rest of my days, I will learn how to cope… Missing my wife of 28 years so badly last night, looking forward to going back to work for some structure to my days, got walks with friends to get me by until then (I hate the lockdown) and so many memories with so many tears. This year will be the start of my new future, not one I would have chosen for myself.

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I know exactly what you mean about the new year and our beloved partner not being part of it. It feels so very strange. It’s a reminder to us that time is just moving forward without them. My husband died on 1.1.2020 so New Year will never be ok with me x

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Yep!! I cried myself to sleep too. As you say I thought Christmas would be bad but this was way worse. I can’t imagine a year without Bill in it, it’s heartbreaking. I just hope 2021 is a better year for us all. Trying to be positive but failing miserably.
Love and hugs to everyone xxx

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