Be honest people say well this is how my story goes. My hubby goes into hospital with low oxygen levels and is in nearly 2 weeks and he had scans blood tests and was told part of his heart was failing and with medication he should be ok and he had suffered a bad nose bleed on the 1st of June and all through the night.but he had suffered really bad before and had a operation. He phoned me Sunday 2nd june 8.08 in morning and said he was being moved to another hospital to deal with this nose bleed and he text back to me at 8.34 and at 9.38 a private number phoned and it was the hospital saying my husband has had a cardiac arrest and could i get to the hospital. By the time i got there he was dead and they worked on him for 31 minutes. After his death he had a postmortem and they found nothing and then he was moved to another hospital to have a special scan and they found nothing and then they took samples of his heart lungs and skin for more testing and we had his funeral on 25th June. But i have to wait 3 to 4 months to see if anything comes back or if it gets put down to SADS and then i can register his death 
i feel I’m not connected to anyone on here and yet I’m suffering the same pain as you are and i struggle with making friends or just talking to people and i feel my daughters have already taken on alot looking out for me and my son and he is autistic and has anxiety and I’m disabled and my hubby was my carer and my world 
Judy, you are not alone, believe me. My first husband was an athlete and he was out on his usual daily run and didn’t come home. He died from a sudden cardiac arrest. He also had to have a post mortem and the cause of death was Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.
We also have a daughter with autism, learning difficulties and physical disabilities.
I got married again five years later to a wonderful man who had lost his first wife to bowel cancer. He loved and cared for my daughter as if she was his own. Sadly, he died 7 weeks ago after a sudden cardiac arrest. Like my first husband, he was fit and healthy with no history of heart problems.
Believe me, everyone here understands and will offer love and support. We are all at different stages, with different circumstances and of all ages.
Love, hugs and understanding. Xx
Willow 112 thank you and i can’t believe you have lost 2 husbands the same way and my son lost his first dad when he was 8 and his 2nd 10 days before his 20 birthday in june. How do you cope going through it once let alone twice and unfortunately my husband had a triple heart by pass nearly 3 years ago but they said everything was ok and i sit here nearly 7 weeks on not knowing what happened to him and how to cope on my own. I’m scared of not being able to look after my son and keeping him safe and well. I also have anxiety and struggle when I’m ill 
my husband fixed everything took care of everything and I feel useless and hopeless and i have 2 of my daughters helping us. But i feel I’m putting on them to much and my only bestie died over 2 years ago my dad died and I’ve lost so many people but i know you are all suffering the same pain and also trying to get through each day
My son is one of those lucky souls who always sees the positives in life. When my second husband died I was weeping and wailing, as you do, and I said that I have been cursed twice now. He said no, you were blessed twice, with good men who loved us.
I have my daughter to give my days structure, and although she is sometimes a little devil, she also gives the best cuddles. I have my son to help me when I need help, I live in a nice house adapted to my daughter’s needs, and I think (hope) that I will be able to manage okay financially.
I try to remind myself of these things when I am feeling down. And I often do feel desperately sad, then I come on here and moan. Someone always offers support.
I know what you mean about worrying about caring for your son.
It terrifies me that I might die during the night leaving my daughter on her own, as my son doesn’t live with us. So, when I wake each day I send him a ‘thumbs up’ message. If he doesn’t get that he will know that we need help. I have also asked the day centre my daughter attends to investigate if she doesn’t arrive on the minibus.
Maybe you could do something similar? It’s one less worry for me.
Xx