I always see the words Be Kind To Yourself on here. But the words don’t really resonate with me. I don’t get a lot of time to think about the words or how to put them into operation. We just live our lives day by day. There’s not a lot of kindness or support in the world, when you lose a loved one. I think you are expected to just carry on, like nothing hasn’t happened, but to us it has. I know the slightest bit of kindness gets me emotional. It’s a very cruel world today! today’s world cares more about money then people, that I do know.
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You’re right, but its true. Do things for yourself, go places you want to go, cry if you want and howl at the moon.
Unfortunately that"s where we find ourselves now, I’m 7 weeks into my journey and I hate every step of it. But on the whole people are kind… at the moment. They’ll tire of that and expect me to be back to normal soon, the funeral’s behind me so I must be ok. But I’m not ok and I don’t think I ever will be again. So we’ll try to pretend we’re ok, but behind closed doors it’ll be so different.
So grieve as long as you need to, and in the way you need to. Keep posting on this forum, you’ll get kind words and support here
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Only problem with that, my mum’s estate being investigated by the DWP saying mum was overpaid pension credit for 21 years. I don’t trust them and think they will grab money where ever they can. I don’t have the freedom to be kind to myself as life’s a struggle with rent and bills. I’ve been struggled with lower back pain which has made life not easy, not to mention I’ve had to pay out for pain relieve gel, slip on shoes too…
I’m so sorry for you. I too am waiting for the DWP,.fast enough to take back sn overpayment, but taking weeks to sort my money out.
Have you tried anywhere for help with your back and the need for gel and special shoes etc
Hi Keith,
I find the kindest and most sympathetic people volunteering.
Litter pickers, dog walkers (search ‘Cinnamon Trust’. Community people tend to be empathetic people. Could you seek volunteering opportunities? How about local churches? There are a lot of people there who understand grief 
.
I’ve found the opposite in my community. People have been so very kind; checking up on me, bringing food, organising someone to mow the lawn. Maybe because quite a few of them are older, and have been through grief themselves. There is kindness out there, great kindness.
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My mum’s newest neighbours have offered multiple times to mow the lawn 
. I’m going to get around to it tomorrow (I first had to bring mine over, as my mum’s had stopped working). The neighbours mowed the Council-owned grass on the pavement, which was a great help, and we wouldn’t mind them continuing to do so.
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My neighbours have been brilliant. I came home the day after the funeral and he’d cut the grass
Yesterday I came home and he’d cleaned my windows.
Friends and acquaintances have all said to just ask if I need anything. So I have to say I have found a lot of kindness in my community
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That’s amazing. There is definitely a lot of kindness in the world, and there are also surely many people who would help people in need, but just need to be told how. Your neighbour sounds very intuitive; a real gem.
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Yes im so lucky. I’ve got to think of a way to repay him.
I wish that everone on this forum could have the help and support that I’ve had. Now I’ve just got to get out of this hole and start my new life. I dont want to, I was happy with my old life. But that’s gone now, and I can’t get it back, no matter how I try. So I owe it to Roger to honour my promise and be ok and carry on.
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I dont know what day it is sometimes. head is like a video player on repeat with sister,s illness, all her hospital appointments, the weeks she spent in hospital, discharged home, then back in a different hospital for another 2 weeks, then discharged agaiin home, then back in hospital, tests, MRI, Xrays, bloods, IVs antibiotics, fluids, blood transfusions, …on and on.
Then told nothing is working and nothing more can be done.
CUP…uknown primary, how can 3 hospitals do all the tests, scans and not 1 know or find where the cancer is, where it has came from or what type it is ?
Sister looked terrible , bruised arms , hands with so many needles , IV drips, eventually her viens popped, was on catherter, had sepsis 2 times, could get rid of infection no matter what antibiotics sister was given,
Had ascities, tap drained 3 times but returned , eventually so weak could not stand, walk and slept the last week at home before having chest pains, taken hospital , spent 2 nights , then moved to a hospice, lost sister within 8 hours during night, 10.26a.m. next morning.
Sorry everyone, dont intend to upset anymore then you all are, i am writing , thinking out loud.
Sorry , hugs
Note for Moderator,
Sorry, i think i may of posted my last message on wrong forum board.
Please move if needed.
Thanks