Be More Diane

I lost my amazing mum in July. She was on holiday in Devon with my Dad and somehow contracted sepsis which sadly took her life. She actually started to pull through and after 2 weeks in ICU we were hoping things were going the right way. But sadly an internal issue occured she couldn’t come back from and she died.

My mum was such a practical positive person and my very best friend. She was 62, fit and healthy. It was such an awful tragedy.

We live in the Midlands so my Dad stayed with her and brother and I were tag teaming making the 3 hour trips as much as we could. The day she died, i drove down alone after getting the call from dad at 9am things were good. My poor brother was in Amsterdam but he also made it back and we said goodbye to her that evening. She was herself till the end.

Mum always looked for the positives. So thats what
Im trying to do. We were all with her. She didnt suffer. She was smiling and joking until she drifted off as they withdrew the support. She was so so loved. She made such a difference to so many people.

I love her so so much and I feel so lucky that she made me the person I am so that I can at least deal with my life without her.

I’m kind of rambling now, but I wanted to bring a positive voice to anyone who may need it. 8 weeks down the line I still cry every day, but I smile too. She had a wickedly dark sense of humour and I carry that on in her memory.

Nothing will make things ok again and there are so many challenges in the grieving process. But tell yourself every night tomorrow will be a better day. And even if it isnt at least you start the day off trying for that.


Sam x


Hi Sam, I love your wee saying!

My Mum also had a dark sense of humour. She was very matter of fact about death and booked her funeral 12 years ago as she thought I would never be able to deal with it. Some of the conversations we had over this over the years have kept me going through this horrible time.

For example, my Mum when picking her coffin, turned to me and said ‘they don’t burn the coffin by the way’ to which I replied don’t be so silly and how would you know that. It was a story I used to illustrate how funny she was at her funeral but also when I collected my Mum’s Ashes my first thought was ‘your heavy, your coffin is definitely in there’. That may sound dark or improper to some, but for me her humour took the edge off a terrible moment for me!!

I am so happy you are going to carry on her legacy by ‘being more Diane’

Tricia x x


Oh my god I think our mums would have got on like a house (or coffin :joy:) on fire! Your mum sounds brilliant! I’m laughing at the thought of you with her ashes too :see_no_evil:

When Mum was able to talk to me for one of the last times (she had a trachy in) I asked if she had anything she needed to say. Her response. ‘i’ll have Lee Cooper (funeral director) and stick me in any old frock.’.

I honestly think that being brought up with that kind of humour is an excellent coping tactic all round. You can’t be sad all the time right?! X

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Hi Ladies

Your posts are inspirational and remind me of my mum who died suddenly and unexpectedly 3 years ago. I have been immersed in sadness since she went but my mum used to laugh about these things. She instructed me to get the cheapest coffin when she went (she wasn’t ill and had no idea she was going anytime soon)

The only expense she insisted on was money behind the bar so everyone could have a good drink.

She also updated her funeral song list weekly. We used to joke about it but sure enough when she went I found the list in her bedside cabinet and her choice of ‘I wanna be like you’ from the Jungle Book was played.

When I feel sad I try and remember how funny and positive my mum was. She would hate how her death has ruined my life.

Thankyou for making me remember the funny stuff :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:


Oh Cheryl sending all my love. Losing your mum is next level isn’t it. So so hard. Your mum sounds like she could also be friend with my mum :laughing:

We were at a funeral once and my mum whispered to me and my brother ‘I want a wicker casket when I go!’ My brother replied ‘thank god for that mother, I thought we were setting fire to you and pushing you out to sea.’ :joy:

Its so hard to cope with grief, but our mums did everything in life to make sure we were happy and well and I just keep thinking that she would be heartbroken to see me struggling same as you say about your mum.

It was so hard losing mum suddenly, but I had more love in that time than some people ever get, and I feel so lucky that she knew how much I loved and appreciated her.

Keep strong and keep laughing my lovely you have got this :muscle:t2: X

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Thankyou Sam

You have a wonderful attitude for having so recently lost your mum.

I wasn’t great company for the first couple of years until my 15 year old daughter said to me ‘I’m still alive mum’

So year 3 has been much better but I still think of mum 24/7 and can’t believe she didn’t live to an old age.

My mum also wanted a wicker basket thinking they were the cheapest. When we found out they were more expensive than some of the wooden ones, we went for the basic cardboard coffin. My mum would have been pleased with that!

Keep being positive but don’t be hard on yourself when you have a hard day. It’s very early days for you and you will still be adjusting to this new life.

I have learned to accept my grief and feel better for doing so.

Cheryl x