I’m getting so I’m afraid to go out even to go out of front door to check mailbox is a afford. I’m anxious all the time and just cry all the time. I’m got to go hospital Monday for breast screening and I’m really panicking about it. I know I’m going to end up crying in front of nurse as soon as she asks if I’m ok I will start crying. Jim would have been with me and to think I’m going on my own is worrying me and I’m scared.
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I know how you feel. The only place I go alone is the park at the back of my own. My sister goes with me otherwise. I feel confidence has gone an I don’t want to go out alone. My brother moved in with me as I hate being in the house alone at night x
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I don’t find their is any joy going out alone. Sitting in a cafe on your own drinking latte and watching others laughing and chatting. Walking around the shops and peering through the windows. It’s very lonely. I am no ready to do anything yet and if my sister tells me once more I should volunteer I will punch her. Bless her she tries to understand but she needs to jump in my body for ten minutes and she would run off screaming x
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Thanks for that it did make my smile . People just don’t understand but they mean well
Hi Misprint, Please go to your breast screening. I got breast cancer aged 25 (found a lump the size of an egg under the skin) and was sent home by my GP because I was told I was ‘too young’ . Another month passed and I returned again and was urgently referred to hospital to have lump which had grown) removed with chemo and radiotherapy. Left me deformed with body dysmorphia. Then 11 years later (aged 36) I found a lump in the same breast again (size of a pea). Had to have a mastectomy (chose double). Lost all my long hair (down to my bottom) and had to crawl around the house because I was so ill with the chemo treatment. I’m 51 now and have no breasts but am cancer free. The check is uncomfortable but totally worth it to avoid what I have gone through. To catch it early gives you better options. And you will be in a place of care if you cry. You won’t be the first. It is frightening. You won’t be the first. And imagine how brave Jim would feel. Imagine him as he would have been when you go. A therapy trick is to imagine your journey like you are watching a film. Your body reacts with the anxiety and will be uncomfortable but will pass. the more you do this the more your reactions will become diluted so it is easier to manage when you do it for real. The appointment won’t be long.
It is because of having cancer that I developed body dysmorphia (feel so ugly that I cannot bear having people look at me) and the agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks (for 20 years now). I am only leaving my house to travel to my therapy (drive myself, cannot use public transport at all or have any contact with people) once a week. I have stopped talking to my family because of the pressure on me to take medication to stop my grief for my mam and to fix my anxiety. I have been breaking my heart for a week and couldn’t even post here but today is better because I took a sleeping tablet and had a proper nights sleep. Talk to your GP about options to help before you become totally housebound. It is vert frightening indeed.
Also, your local Council can offer you a support worker to go out with you (to do shopping, go for a walk, sit and chat). Mine was Nottinghill Housing Trust and I was with them about 3 years with 4 supporters over that time. I was housed as a vulnerable person because of being stalked. It made me feel less isolated (I didn’t know anyone when I moved and couldn’t keep in contact with old friends) and it really felt like going out with a friend. I miss them.
Be thinking of you xxx
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Thanks Christine for advice I will go.
Dont think of yourself as ugly beauty comes from within love I can tell you have real beauty in you
Take care x
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