I worked with my mum and it was a last thursday night, we finished friday morning for the weekend and she dropped me home i kissed her (always) on the cheek and said ill call u when im up, i woke up to a phone call at 11am with my friend spinning to my home to pick me up, he couldnt say much in the car, only that my healthy 56 year mum was in recissitation by my step-dad! I ran up the stairs and saw him ramming down on her lifeliess body, i screamed until i couldnt breath, by this time the paramedics got there we were forced to wait down stairs, i could here all the beeping on was on my knees on the gravel car park in shorts, my step-dad looked so bewildered standing by the front door just looking into nothing stood alone, the air ambulance also arrived! After what felt for ever, the paramedic came down stairs and said they even if the started the heart shes lost to much oxygen to the brain! Myself and dad just looked at each other and nodded our heads to let her go! My whole life has changed she was my only friend, i sit at home everyday all alone to anxious to leave my home and im lonely as hell 
xx
Hi @Kimmyl i am so sorry for your loss. And what a traumatic way for your poor mum to die, and for you and your step dad to witness it. Im a paramedic so i know how difficult it is to perform cpr but for you as a family to do that is so sad. You are in shock and i believe its like a massive ptsd. My mum died suddenly and we found her dead at home, it was too late to start cpr, but for me its was horrific as i couldnt do anything to save her. I was hoping the post mortem would say she had died of a heart attack or stroke and it was sudden, but it said she had pneumonia, and i struggle with that because if she was poorly she would have rang me. Its so hard to accept when it happens like this and loosing your mum is just awful under any circumstances. Its vwry early days for you and its so normal to be in shock, just try and take it each day, or each hour. Im 9 months down the line now and it has become more bearable, sending you hugs