Hello Im new to the site. Ive been caring for my husband for three years whilst he has had cancer treatments. He hasn’t felt well in all of that time, and Ive been doing the bulk of things as most carers do. Now hes been told the cancer is growing and they cant do any more for him. He’s been passed over to the palliative care team.
What I wanted to talk about is how Im feeling. Is it normal to be caring and irritated at the same time? I find every time I sit down to rest, eat, or have a cuppa, or watch a show, he asks me to do something! I feel I just want to sit alone, and be quiet and not have anyone speak to me. Just peace and quiet. Is what Im feeling normal?
I have to dog walk twice a day which gives me some respite, but after three years I feel my nerves are stretched! I have good friends but I don’t want to moan about him to others, and I feel mean saying anything.
Hi Lucy Jack. What you’re feeling is entirely normal. Being a carer is exhausting, it not only puts a huge strain on your body but also on your emotional well being. I cared for my husband for 18 months while he got worse and worse gasping for breath with lung disease. There were times I just wanted to run away and that made me feel so guilty! You’re doing a fantastic job and irritation sometimes clashes with love in these awful circumstances. I wish you all the best and please try to take care of yourself.
Hi @LucyJack, @Susie7 has already given some great advice. I just wanted to add that Macmillan offer emotional support to carers. They have phone support and a live chat feature, too. You can find the number or request a callback on their website:
Thanks Susie, I appreciate your words. Nice to know its not just me who feels like running! I dream of a cottage by a lake somewhere, just me and my dog. Not even sure about the dog!!