I would like to know how you would handle this situation i found myself in recently.
My beautiful amazing daughter passed away on 21st Nov 2022.
Its been very very hard to deal with.
But her partner told us on New years day, he has moved on, he met someone last June, 2023 and we knew absolutely nothing about it, we are all very vlose and a huge support to him since our daughter died.
What would your reaction be to this news?
I can see how it would be very hard to deal with. It has taken him a while to tell you, but i think this is a good thing, he has made sure that he is serious about this person before telling you. It would be nice if you could continue to support him if he wants to still be part of your lives. Im basing this purely on your message of course i have no idea how close you guys are and if you feel able to meet a new person in his life. A very difficult situation. If it is going to cause you further upset you have to weigh up if losing him completely is an option you want to consider.
We would have always wanted him to be with someone eventually and for their 2 little autistic children to have another female in their lives aside from me and his mother .
If he had told us 6 months ago it would have been hard enough but the fact he kept it from us ( to protect us he said) and carried on as his normal life has hurt us so much more, she has met his little boys, met his parents ,came to xmas dinner with them all and stayed at their house,along with her children, whichbi found so disrespectful as the sleep in the smae bedroom as her ashes are in and her wedding dress is still hanging up on the side as they run out of time to marry, she died, i find so hurtful and i told him so.
I said there has to be a level of respect here, you didnt split up,or divorce, she died, its different.
To matters worse, he invited her to the one place they went as a family, the day after her first Anniversary last Nov, Centre parcs, she died 2 days after her little boys birthday where they always went for a few days, he didnt ask us to go which i thought,and his mum did that we should have gone, but i can see why now, he wanted her to go, i told him he had insulted her memory, harsh i told but thats how i feel.
He’s basically lead a double life and i feel i dont know him anymore.
We were hugely involved with them as both boys are autistic and will continue to be but gosh its hard now.x
Hi @Babs12 I think I would find your situation very hard. Maybe I’m not very forgiving but I think that was very quick.
I’m very angry and bitter, I lost my daughter 21 weeks ago, she was 21yrs old and had a boyfriend. He comes to my home everyday and I know he is young and will meet someone else but I will be devastated when it happens. Because I can never move on I don’t want anyone else to move on.
I think you have every right to feel hurt and angry, I think he didn’t tell you sooner because he knew how you would feel and deep down he knows the relationship has developed very quickly after your daughter’s passing.
Unfortunately not everyone will mourn your daughter in the way you expect, because our world has ended we believe everyone’s has ended.