I’m new to this site. Nearly a month since I lost my beloved mum to bowel cancer. I knew dealing with the grief was going to be difficult, but the grief is horrendous. I just miss mum so much, I feel so lost/empty without mum, she was my life, I lived with mum and was her carer, we liked the same programmes and had the same sense of humour. I joined this site as I know people will understand and the journey that we are all on. If anyone would like to get in touch, please feel free x.
Hi Northern75,
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your Mum, your love for her comes over so very strongly in your message. It is wonderful that you had such a lovely relationship with her and shared so many things together. It must have been a very special time for you caring for your Mum, tiring though at times, and you must have so many memories of times spent together.
I also lived with my Mum and when she became ill gave up work to care for her. That time was incredibly painful knowing she was terminally ill but also very precious as I knew my time in her company was so limited. We too shared the same sense of humour and laughed at the silliest of things.
A month is no time at all to come to terms with what has happened. People say to be kind to yourself when this sort of thing happens. It sounds a silly statement to make but is remembering to look after yourself first and not worry about others and what they may think. Take each day as it comes as some will be harder than others.
I hope you will keep coming back to this site if you need help or just feel sad. People do understand here, we all share the loss of someone we love in common.
Take care of yourself and feel proud of how much you helped and looked after your Mum. I bet she loved you to bits as well.
Mel.
Xx
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Hi
I am so sorry you have lost your mum. You should be proud of yourself for looking after your mum and being her carer. It is very early days for you so no wonder you feel lost. My mum passed a year ago and I too lived with my mum and do understand your feeling of being lost in this new world we find ourselves in. Take things one day at a time, and try to do something each day for you such as reading if you are able to concentrate or watching a film or going for a walk to get some fresh air. Take care x
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Thank you for the kind words. I knew mum would not be around forever, but I still thought I would have mum for a bit longer, to be honest I never thought this year would be mum’s last. Cancer just proves how cruel it can be, when all of a sudden the cancer says - your time is up. Nothing can ever prepare you, for when that time comes and you lose a loved one. It’s now a month ago, when mum passed, mum said to me your stronger than you think, I guess now is the time when I have to prove that I’am - going to be very difficult though. Mum and me were very close, we even thought the same thoughts at time and would say what each other were thinking. Will try to take your words of advice, to try and take a day at a time. Thank you again for replying x.
I to lost my lovely mum been a year I was her carer and lived with heri was heartbroken my mum died on my birthday 9 days before Xmas it is so crap but things will get a bit better
When your with someone every day it’s hard I was with my mum for 4 years 24 hours aday my mum was on dialysis and had Alzheimer’s I feel so sorry for you in them early months try to be with people you love it helped me and try to keep busy that helps my heart goes out to you
I looked after my mum for 4 years she died a year ago it is hard my mum died on my birthday 9 days before Xmas so there both ruined but you get through every day best you can you gave good advice to the person who lost their mum only few months ago things get bit better each day as it comes that’s what I do
Hello, sorry for your loss, you sound like you had a wonderful relationship with your mum, it is very early days as when people talk about grief comming in waves, it really does, in the early days it’s hard to think of anything else, it’s so raw, I lost my mum to cancer as well in Feb 2018 she was my best friend and I miss her so much, in the early days I spent everyday sat by her graveside as I felt close to her and gradually I managed to do this less, I tried to throw my self back into work kids and life, but it’s always there that I miss her, I am doing a collection for Marie currie next week as a volunteer in her memory which will be hard but it’s for my mum and everyone else’s too, start by getting through each day to begin with that’s all you can do xx
That’s a lovely thing you are doing for your mum she would be so proud year the wave thing is horrible I am lucky I have my mum’s ashes at home with me it makes me feel good year trying to keep busy is a good thing but it is always there it is my mum’s birthday today so not the best day work does help abit but the dread always comes back it does take along time so I’ve been told I did get to spend a lot of time with my mum so was lucky it was a pleasure to care for her your mum sounds very special and was great she was your best friend lucky
Hi Jage
I am so sorry you lost your mum and on your birthday. You are around the same timescale as I am with my mum. I still find it all unbelievable some days. As you say, each day as it comes.
Hi jaydee it’s nice to talk to someone who understands what your going through people think because it’s a year that your ok but your not my whole life changed when my mum died we lived together and I gave my job up to care for her so I lost my job to it as taken me a while to get on my feet but I have a job but every day is still bad sometimes it’s hard putting a face on for other people
Hi Jage , hope you got through your mums birthday ok, did you do anything ? I’ve got my mums 8 th march and the day she passed on 26th Feb, I can feel that knot in my stomach as it’s approaching x
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Hi dolly year me and my brother went for a meal to celebrate her life and got her flowers it was a hard day sorry your anniversary and your mum’s b day are coming up hard hey all we can do is celebrate how special and lovely they were IV been to a medium lately and mum spoke to me it was lovely the things she said to me no one else would no it made me feel better
Hi dolly how did your mum’s anniversary go been thinking of you I think the leading up to things anniversary and birthdays are bad because every day is horrible without them IV had a bad few wks been of sick because of back so been at home thinking of mum more it just doesn’t seem to get any easier sorry your mum’s birthday also coming it’s pretty crap life sometimes lots of thoughts coming your way jage
Hi Jage
Thank you for thinking of me, the lead up was awful felt like I was re-living the data leading up to her death, I can’t get her face out of my head and feel like I’m missing her more than I ever have, sadly I think it’s the realisation that I’ll never see her again, didn’t expect to feel so bad . I hope you are feeling better? I find that when you have more on your hands it’s hard not to think about it. I think the reality of it has finally hit me and it’s awful. X
Year I was a mess leading up to my mum’s in December all we can hope is each year things get easier the pain is horrible me to see my mum’s face at the end in the future let’s hope we can think of all the nice memories and not the bad ones I think it is still early days and it is going to take time b thinking of you on the 7th all my love and thoughts are with you jage