Beloved sister

I need some help. My younger sister passed away just a week ago. She was just 41. The pain I’m feeling is just consuming me. It comes over me in waves. I’m so worried about our elderly parents. We were a double act she and I. Liked all the same things, teased our parents and my husband. Had jokes that only we understood. I’m bereft. It’s not fair. I want to scream until it hurts. How will I ever feel normal again. I just want her back but not in the pain she was in. I’m looking for answers but they’re never enough. I need to know she’s OK but I’m scared I never will. She entrusted me with so much to do for her funeral. I want so badly to stand up and do her proud but what if I can’t? I don’t know how to manage my grief and there doesn’t seem much for siblings out there.

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Dear @Bigsister1

Welcome to the Community. I am sorry for the loss of your sister and the pain you are going through.

You can do this. It has been only a week since your sister has passed away and you are in the very early stages of grief.

You can reach out to members here who have experienced what you are going through under the topic Loss of a Sibling which will be of support to you. Sue Ryder here has useful bereavement information and support pages which may be of help to you.

There is another organisation I would like to direct you to and that is The Compassionate Friends . They have a section on Bereaved Siblings which you may find of support and help to you also. They do have an informative leaflet called A Sibling’s Grief which you can download or read online.

Please continue to reach out and take care of yourself.


I’m so sorry for your loss, my sister died age 43 last July, we got the phone call after 3am to say she had died, we were not expecting it and have been left very angry and very sad and hurt, I totally understand the pain you are feeling, life is so unfair, we start to learn to live with pain rather than it going away, I found life has totally changed, the way we see things, memories surround us everywhere, it’s 9 months today that Rebecca died and it still feels like yesterday, I hope you have a supportive husband, be kind to yourself and allow yourself time, there’s no fixed date on grief, and everyone is different xx