Bereavement

Losing a parent
1

I lost my mum in March 2025, turns out appendicitis can come back even up to 55 years later.
I was luckily at home when my world collapsed, losing my mum has been similar to having my heart ripped out. She is (sorry I can’t write past tense) such a massive part of us (my dad, my sister and I, even the grandchildren). With mum not being here, it feels like a dream that is upside down and inside out, nothing feels right. She calmed my negative thoughts, she helped me realise that I can’t help others whose main ambition in life is to destroy everyone around them. Mum is the the one that talked to me and helped me live my life fully. When this first happened, I convinced myself, I had imagined it all but reality keeps ripping through my brain causing me nauseous moments, then I have to sit down before my world starts spinning. I have to take medication to calm my head and thoughts, I never needed to do that before. A quick chat with mum and my world was right again. I wish I had recorded our conversations, I would know or at least have a better understanding of what to do next. Each step I take forward, feels like I’m dragging a tonne weight behind me, that if I’m not careful could tip over and drop on me. I have not felt like I was myself for weeks now, I keep trying to find the person I was but he keeps getting away from me, just like mum, it seems like she is within my reach and I just need to try a little harder and I will see her. Again, reality hits me again and I feel lower than I did. Saying goodbye to my mum, will always be the worst thing in my life to deal with. Can anyone help?

2

Hello @bradders123,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

You might also want to look at: Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

3

Not sure help is what I can give but I can listen. If that’s help, we all find help in different ways.