Back in October i lost my mum due to copd.
She had been in hospital on znf of for a year and the last time she was in she lacked the care due to shortage of staff.
Myself and dad brought mum home which was a struggle and so distressing but eventually the district nurses sedated mum due to her getting upset.
Mum passed away 8 days later in her sleep with me and dad by her side.
The past 4 months now i have sleepless nights thinking did i do enough.
Did i give to much medication.
My mind is going around and around.
My dad is having terrible mood swings but they had been married 53 years.
I know other people have been through these situations and i feel quite selfish.
I also still haven’t broke down and feel this makes me a horrible person.


Hello @Merc01801 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to have a read of our article below, when you feel ready.
Losing a parent - Coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

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Hi @Merc01801 . Im sure what you wrote reminds many of us of the regrets we take with us, despite knowing that they are unjustified. We all had that myriad of thoughts hammering around our heads fighting to find a way out! Its a lot like ptsd , which in essence it is
I overcame these issues by having a course of hypnotherapy which made a HUGE improvement. There is a Sue Ryder article in here, somewhere, but I can rarely find it. Maybe a moderator can point us in the right direction. I hope it will help both you and your dad, good luck to you both,!

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