I am sitting in the garden the 1st time since we moved here and John died two weeks later and it is awful.
We always sat together on a Friday late afternoon/evening in the summer with a glass of wine before having dinner later. Sometimes we had olives.
It used to be lovely getting some sun and relaxing
It is so sad and upsetting sitting here on my own even though John never did it here. We had plans for the garden and it just makes me feel so upset and tearful.
It is a lovely evening here in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk. I wish he was here with me and still miss him so much after 7 mths. It is so lonely and I dont think I will ever get used to being on my own.
Love to you all xx
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I know what you mean. I am missing his hugs and smiles and his voice. I was always looking forward to the weekends and bank holidays etc. And when there was a train strike my husband could work from home. Now it is just a nightmare come true. I hate every weekend - especially the long weekends. Nothing really makes sense anymore. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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Thank you. It is good to know that someone is there and understands
Hugs and love to you too.
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@Shelley50 , i too am sat in the garden with a glass of wine in the evening sun. Pete and i loved to do this. Its only nearly 7 weeks since he died of a sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest at 67. Fit, still working, out on a bike ride. We were due to retire together soon. I am so sad sitting here. I miss him so much. My son picked up his ashes today. Part of me still feels its not real and he’ll be home soon. This grief is so consuming, i am trying but the thought of my future without him doesn’t make sense. Love to all feeling this pain.
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Yes I was sad today sitting on the seat we used to sit by a local lake.
Six months ago he died but tears won’t go. Made it worse bumped into someone I knew with hurtful remark like he would have wanted me to carry on walking
Not necessarily really no means of knowing at all.
All he said was you’ll be alright
But I am not alright
I am half left
Yes sometimes I think he is looking down
I know off by heart sort of stuff he used to like to talk about
My son’s dog is with me for the weekend
On one hand it is good but cat went missing and so upset but I did find her. So went in separate rooms alone with cat and then dog but
not together
Animals are easier to be with.
Just put their noses on you and stare with sad eyes
A lick; a nuzzle, cuddle and like little kids the same blessing.
Birds are like little messengers to me. He loved birds. So I throw the crusts out like he used to. I dug our garden with his fork, hoed it and raked it, put up bean poles. I always said I would try to grow them.
I replanted primulas where the primroses were over in the trough on his grave and put fresh leaves in the pot. Went to monumental mason to make initial selection for a headstone. Read other people’s I scriptions to get ideas. When I told receptionist I had trouble working it out she said but you were a teacher as if I wasn’t supposed to have normal bereavement responses as if that made any difference in the end. That was donkey’s years ago as I am 78 now. What I could do then and now are two different things. I am sure everyone on here held down jobs that needed skills at one time or even having to try to concentrate and it just doesn’t happen: I wish. I visited an art exhibition in my old church and was nice apart from someone questioning how
I looked so just said I am looking around. What else would I be doing?
But I am being over sensitive I know. At least I didn’t tell them what I thought learning it’s best not to do so.
Was refreshing but then started me off again as he used to come with me to them before he was too poorly. Imagined had he not died he died he would have been on a scooter as he had had his lower leg cut off a week before he died.
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