My dad passed away 30/08/2022. I have not coped with his death because my mum suffers from early alzheimers and all my attention has been on her coping.
I should be over him dying by now, but I’m not.
I feel very alone

Hi Jon, I’m really new to grief - my grandmother passed away a month ago today and I have lost people before but still don’t really know what I’m doing. The one thing I will say is that you can’t tell yourself you need to ‘be over’ him dying.

If the loss of a grandmother is this debilitating, I can’t even imagine, and don’t want to in all honesty, the loss of a parent.

You sound like a wonderful son putting all of your efforts into helping your mum, but you need to look after yourself too.

Do you have any friends/family that could relate even slightly? I know for my mum right now, the biggest support and reassurance is coming from her friends who have also lost parents, and with my dad having lost his parents too, he’s been a big help.

I think the main thing I’m noticing (and again I am really new to this whole thing so maybe take what I say with a pinch of salt) is that grief is at it’s ugliest when you’re facing it alone. I know there tends to be a bit of a stigma about asking your friends for help or reaching out when you’re an adult, but at the end of the day we’re all just people trying to survive what can seem like unsurvivable circumstances. Almost everyone has lost someone, and there’s no way to ‘do’ grief correctly or move on. I’m sure your friends and family would do all they could to help if they knew how you were really feeling.