Im sruggling so badly.
Since april 2020 I’ve saw over 12 people i love lose their lives,
The one thing thst kept me going was my wee dog and in April this year she became very ill, very quickly and within just a few days i was told there was no hope, and i had to hold my precious girl as she was put to sleep.
The loss of my dog just tipped me over the edge.
Im so tired of this constant fight or flight feeling, and spend my life being angry or crying.
I dont feel suicidal but every day i wish i just wasnt here. I work and fake that im my usual cheery self, but inside im in absolute torment.
Im sorry for the doom and gloom post but i need to find a way to cope better than simply pretending im ok.
I guess if youre reading this post you’re maybe struggling yourself, so im sending love
Thanks for reading my message.
@Jojo63 I’m sorry that you’ve lost your little companion and I can imagine your grief and sadness on top of everything else you have gone through.
I know that I will be in the same position pretty soon, mine is 15 and her legs are failing her rapidly. I lost my boyfriend suddenly in February. His ashes have still not been scattered and that, coupled with the imminent loss of my dog are factors which are stopping me finding peace at the moment. I feel like I’m just existing until the next thing happens.
I guess a lot if us here fake it til we make it.
Sending you strength.
Yes I do agree the plodding on until you make it up to a point. But at the moment I am forcing myself to do things when I can lift myself enough. Yesterday I went to this lunch club.
The food was nice but I struggled sitting on the end of a moaning Minnie so I found a joke on my phone to try but think it went a bit like a lead balloon. But I found the cook looked familiar and I discovered she still worked where I used to work and on the way out someone else was upbeat even though his wife’s wheelchair tyre had burst and they were both struggling along.
I guess they lived locally. I thought well he had something to moan about but he didn’t. It reminded me of my mother who has been dead 28 years. She was left alone and she said found her faith again. Now I am kind of struggling at the moment.
