Bereavment

I lost my youngest Daughter 16 months ago due to an Epelectic Fit in her sleep(i hope,:pray:)was brought on by Prescription Drugs,she was only 26 and a Mummy to 3 little girls…all who have stayed in our family.I will never get all the answers as her Father made it impossible for me even to attend her funeral,all the more heartbreaking.
Now i am coping with my Husband of 1 year(together 2 years)being Diagnosed with Terminal Cancer,i am caring for him best i can but im breaking down slowly but surely…how much can a person take?I have 1 of my Grandaughters live with me full time,shes 10,and i know she needs me and of course is my main priority my reason for living along with my other Kids n G.Kids.
My Husband is the Love of my life And im so scared to lose him,which i know will come.Im 60 years old and feel so worn down and lonely as i cant keep putting all of this on the rest of my Family as they are grieving too…i know other people go through losses and im truly sorry for you but i just needed to write this down and get it out to people who i know are going tgrough the same things,ive tried to Self refer for counselling but its taking forever and i seem to get weaker each day…:pensive:

Hello Sandra, how heartbreaking and I really don’t know whether I can help because you are going through hell.
Taking each thing, I so often read that someone has been stopped from attending a funeral which I personally can’t understand how someone can be so horrible to another human being. Funerals and death seem to bring out the worst in some people. There are many posts on here where they say this has happened, horrible.
I am not surprised you are breaking down, when we was told that my husband was terminal my world feel apart but somehow you are given extra strength just to deal with the day to day stuff and the rest can be put on the back burner. I hope you are getting that extra strength and being able to put on your brave face.
You have a beautiful granddaughter staying with you which will be such a joy and keeping in contact with your other grandchildren is very important.
You are so right that writing about your problems really does help and I hope that counselling comes through quickly but I know there are long waiting for all counselling which under the present conditions is not surprising.
Your personality seems to say you are a strong individual and that strength is what will get you through the coming months. I am sending you my love and blessings and hope it helps knowing someone has read your post and understands what you are going through. Look after yourself and stay safe. Please give your granddaughter a big hug from me. S xxx

Hi,Susie,
Thankyou so much for your reply,means the World to Me.It,s a very difficult journey when you have a Terminal diagnosis isnt it,prayers for you.
I’m told i come across as a strong person,just a pity i dont FEEL strong most of the time.Your right though,take 1 day at a time is all we can do.
Life seems very hard,but i am blessed with a beutiful Family just never crossed my mind 1 of them would pass before me😪
I will give my beutiful G.D a hug from you,its so hard for her too but shes such a brave little Soul !
Take care and Good Luck with your Journey xx

Hello @Sandra99,

I’ve just been reading your posts - I’m so very sorry to hear about the sudden death of your Daughter, last year and that you are also now caring for your Husband following his terminal diagnosis. As @Susie123 has said, that is such a lot to deal with.

It sounds as though you are finding things overwhelming which is completely understandable - I’m glad you have found it helpful writing down how you are feeling and reaching out for support on here. Thank you for being so brave. I also wanted to let you know about some other support services that you might find helpful as you process all that is going on.

The Compassionate Friends is a charity offering care and support for families who have lost a child of any age.

If you haven’t already done so, you can access expert advice, information and support on the Carers UK website or email them on: advice@carersuk.org. They also have carer volunteers and support groups who may be able to help put you in touch with other people and carers who understand what you’re going through.

I’m not sure who you have registered with for counselling - if it isn’t Sue Ryder, you may want to have a look at this page on our website which gives more information about the free online bereavement counselling we offer.

Thank you again for bravely reaching out, @Sandra99 - please know, you do not need to struggle alone. It is lovely to read about your Granddaughter - keep hugging her and finding comfort in those precious hugs.

Take care,
Megan

Online Community Manager

Hi Megan,thankyou so much for your reply,plus the helpful suggestions about help that is out there.I am so relieved to share my thoughts with people that are not related to my loss and potential Loss😔I hate to come across as feeling sorry for myself…but actually i DO atm!Thankyou for reaching out,take Carexx

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