I lost my husband of 50 years in spring 2022. I began to think things were getting better. But at the present time ,i feel i am back to square one. It includes being angry, lonely, sad, i have flash backs to when he passed away. Why did he have to leave me, i desperately want a hug and to feel his face against mine and him to tell me things will be ok. I feel guilty having all these feeling as he was terminaly ill and i didnt want him to suffer.
How long do all these strong feelings go on for???. I get so angry when people say i am lucky to have family. I love them dearly but they dont fill the void. Its like i am looking straight in front of me and i have family on my right and family on my left but straight ahead a deep dark tunnel, with no end. Will i ever see a light at the end of it. ???
Hi @HRH.
I’m sorry I dont have any answers for you as I am only coming up to 6 months in and I just feel things getting worse each day at the moment.
I don’t think the pain will ever go away - we just get better at managing it but it’s just over 2 years for you and I don’t think that is any time at all. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve and feel sad. It’s ok to be sad and feel alone.
Time with family is good but you are right, it isn’t our wonderful husbands.
Just one day at a time and hopefully things will get a bit easier for you soon,
Sending a big hug xx
So sorry @HRH
I think we all feel pretty much the same.
I don’t know how long it takes.
I’m 6 months on and feel like its going to take forever.
We just have to find a way to live with it somehow.
Big hugs 
X x
HRH
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
But I do understand family can not make up for you loss, they do help but the loss and the pain are always there, and in reality for some including me are unlikely to stop.
I do hope they get less painful than they are now, over years on grief
Thankyou for the messages. They are very much appreciated and have helped. You have made me realise i am expecting too much too soon.
Thinking about what you said Steve, about the pain and loss may always be there. I can see you may be right.
We were together for over fifty years and in our own little bubble. Not needing other people apart from the children. We had our ups and downs, but who doesnt when you have children, but our love never faltered.We had fifteen years of retirement together and that we were so thankful for. Not every one gets that.
So i can see now looking back with a clearer mind ,that because of what we had ,the loss and pain will not just go away… Perhaps in time some things will get easier. I just have to work through it all, like everone else and not expect too much.
A big hug to you all and thankuou, x and a big hug to my special man if his looking down x
HRH,
I agree with your comments, we too were in our little bubble married 33y together 39y although we never got to retire we had a fantastic life.
We too had our ups and downs, although not many downs and the were all about stupid things.
I love her and always will, there will be no one else for me.
Unfortunately they could never compaire.