Do you all feel like
Nobody understands what you are going through?
Nobody think to ask how are you?
How all this miget affect you like your support to just carry on as normal I think.
Difficult when you have all these mixed emotions & feel alone

I constantly feel like this since i lost my mum suddenly in January this year, she was only 64. Ive thought deep and dark thoughts and especially at the minute do not want to be around my husband, as feel that he really does not understand how i feel. If it wasn’t for the lock down I would of told him to get out.

Hi Tigger, Your husband could help you. Why tell him to get out??? When you have someone on hand to support you while you are grieving the loss of your Mum…
Many of us on this forum have lost our husbands and we are completely alone, and in a bad place ourselves with absolutely no one to listen to us or offer a sympathetic hug. I would say turn to your husband you might be surprised if you explain to him exactly how you are feeling and let him into your grief, you might find yourself pleased to have him with you. He is probably at a loss on how to help and many men just don’t know what to do in this situation so say and do nothing.
Good luck


hi S47
sadly thats what lots of so called friends and some families do they cannot help at all.yet all most of us want is some one to listen to us ,and let us open our hearts and share the trauma we are going through.on here there are lots of wonderful people with big hearts willing to put there own traumatic heartache on hold and offer a little bit of empathy and a few words of comfort.make your self comfy and write what ever is on your mind,what ever helps ease your pain a little.but maybe best starting your own topics as thats the best way guarantee getting some sort of ever there are a few topics on here were some chat amongst them selves about daily activities and the feelings and emotions of said day.if thats your cup of tea join in as they are a welcoming group of people.
try stay safe and hope you find a bit of help whilst you are here

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Good evening Ian how are you feeling today x

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sorry you lost your mum tigger30,and sad that the person you chose to marry isnt the one you need to comfort you,thats very sad to read,as those of us on here whove lost partners husbands wives etc would cherish having them here now,especially with this lockdown scenario.i know when I lost my dad in 2006 it was traumatic and heartbreaking watching the man who gave his all to bring up our family lose is battle with cancer. Jayne helped immensely and supported and comforted me through this traumatic time ,but now ive lost Jayne my world ended and nothing or no one could make me feel any better.
hope you find help some where
regards ian

Sorry you lost your wife, feel bad for moaning about my husband now. I should be grateful but he just doesn’t get it.

I dont know how to let him in, even before my Mum passed I was a private person and kept a lot of things to myself, so find it hard to let him in now.

Hi Tigger and Everyone, I must say I agree with Pattidot. Your husband may be feeling afraid to say anything, for fear of saying the wrong thing. You say you always kept things to yourself, so he may assume this is what you want, and not want to intrude. Perhaps a quiet talk might be in order, where you could let him know what you need right now. I also lost my Mom, and it shattered my world, but I had my beloved younger sister there to grieve with. We could not have gotten through it alone. Now my younger sister was taken too, and there is no one. I do not have a partner, and wish I did. I do try to take any kind support where I can get it, and distance my self from the tactless, insensitive people (and sadly the world is full of those) I come on this forum to share, and hopefully help another griever with my words. I am so sorry for your loss. XxxSister2

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Hi S47, I understand what you are feeling. After almost 2 years of this relentless, gut wrenching pain and suffering (over the loss of my best friend and confidant, my sweet sister), I’ve come to the conclusion that we are truly alone in our grief; Because we carry it around with us every single waking & sleeping moment. We can “never” put it down. We are lucky to find kind souls, also on their own grief journey (like the lovely folks here), who will listen and support us. But the outside world (as I refer to it), really will not be able to grasp the intensity of what we are going through. They will eventually get tired of hearing about it, and remind us we have overstepped the “mourning time limit” imposed upon us. I cannot remember the last time anyone asked how I was, or even acknowledged my grief. Take care. Xxx

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Thankyou for your kind words.
Sorry for your loss it must have been awful for you to go through alone.
Family justo don’t understand
My mother in law passed away just few months ago.
Then we had 2 was clear out her flat hand in keys shut down her flat
Still remember being there at her bedside with my family when she diedoesn’t.
Then my exhusband moved back in with me and my daughter.
Then just recentry decided really wanted my dad in ,my life and mum didn’t let me see him when I was younger.
Or my gran parents.
That is so wrong , then when I had my own kids tried again mum made me choose.
Awful situation put anyone in.
My whole life often thought about my dad where he is, ?why didn’t he come back for me?
Left it too late, decided to call salvation army got paperwork filled out the forms,
Just before posted it off, got a call dad’s family tracked me down my dad recently died
I couldn’t believe it was absolutely devastated.
Then make things worse didn’t get chance to say goodbye to my dad nobody was allowed to go to the funeral
It was heartbreaking.
Funeral director didn’t even play a song for my dad.
Oh I could go on and on bit I won’t
Hurts to much I have so many regrets.
Dads family don’t really keep in touch
And sick of people making decisions don’t include me.
Or even think to ask my opinion
Or how I feel
People family in participating just expect you to carry on as normal
Nobody ask how are you.
I feel sick, emotional sometimes can’t stop crying
Feel angry hurt frustrated let down alone
Then lockdown well that has just ruined my life
Made everything so much harder
Just feel so trapped don’t have lot privacy or space.

Hi Jane,
Think it makes it harder when friends don’t call either acknowledge what your going through
Family they can’t even ask how I am
Think they just expect you carry on as normal.
But it’s difficult, as I have lot resentful feel angry stressed really hurt
Hurts so much feel sad alone, think it’s worse nighttime
Really don’t feel can’t talk to family
My mother in law passed away just 2 months ago ,
Exhusband move home with me
Lockdown came ruin my life my dad died
Now not sure still have job to go to as I’m agency worker

I so so sorry for you loss tigger
My heart goes out to you❤

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OMG tigger,
So so sorry for the loss of your mum
You must be devastated.
I know it’s extremely difficult and you feel alone
I know how you feel, but could you try and sit down with your husband try and tell him how you feel?
I know it can be difficult talking to family
Have you thought about counselling
Good to open up to someone who is willing to listen
And allow you time to Greive
How are you feeling now?

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Yes, I think this is exactly how all of us are feeling just now! Unless you are extremely lucky to have selfless friends or family or partners.
I think the main consensus I’m getting from everyone is that our nearest and dearest just do not know what to do, or say… and that is why they do nothing. It’s extremely hurtful to us because it makes it seem like they don’t care, or aren’t thinking of us. I’m sure they are but considering the fact that we are facing an unprecedented global pandemic, there’s ALOT of worry just now.
I feel exactly the same you do. I’ve only heard from a couple of people who have been thoughtful enough to message me after losing my best friend in the whole world - my Dad. He was only 64 and I found him after a sudden heart attack at home. It’s been 5 months and I’m still in disbelief. I digress but the point of this wonderful site is to remind us that we. Are. Not. Alone. :heartbeat: I can’t tell you how much I come on here and read posts when I can’t sleep.
Just wish I had someone to grieve my Dad with, I think that’s the hardest. Hope you’re okay and managing to keep busy.
Best wishes.

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Hi is anyone awake?

You are you doing? Hope your ok.
Im sick of feeling shut out and not included especially my dads family.
My brother got paperwork through well email through from my dads brother in law
Why cant they inclufe or ask how i feel about things?
Letters sent to dads family offer there condolunces
i mean dads brother and brother in law.
Important letters all sent through to my brohrr.
My brother wouldnt even allow me redirect my dads mail to me.
Have so many regrets wish he was hete so much