Birthday blues.

Losing a partner
1

I’m 76 today, my first birthday without my beloved.
This is more painful out of the blue than our wedding anniversary last year.
I just love and miss her presence so very much.

Emotions & tears all over the place, I thought I was starting to cope a little better but this emotional ambush has knocked me for 6 today.

I’ve tried looking back to happy birthdays with her but that just increases this awful feeling of emptiness & missing her beyond words.

My only hope I cling to is due to my faith and that is being reunited again one day with her.

This emptiness & pain is so awful.

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@jomar I’m so sorry you’re not able to share your birthday with your lovely wife. I know how hard that is as it was a big birthday for me last year and my husband died a few months before. I know it can’t compare but sending you best wishes for today.x

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@jomar
So sorry this is proving extra difficult for you. I am not looking forward to May which includes our 30th anniversary and my birthday.
I too share your faith that I will one day be with my Richard again but it still doesn’t make it easy does it. My determination to do more down here for people before that day also helps me to keep going, but doesn’t stop the grief ambushes.
Sending love
Karen xxx

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Thanks @KarenF
It’s the unexpectedness of the ambushes that are so painful,

3 days a week I’m volunteering and that is so helpful looking at others problems rather than my own.

I think being old fashioned that I became us and mine became ours over 54+ years has ingrained in my memory that I find it hard to think outside of “us” if that makes sense?

I miss us praying together at night and reading together very much.

I only have to look at a book my beloved bought me and wrote loving words inside for tears to start again and my breathing seems to change. I know it’s only been just over 9 months but at times I feel as raw as ever and my emotions are all over the place.

Thanks for listening, john (and marian) :pray:t2::sparkles:

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Thank you so much @Loobyloo2 for your kind words also.

I guess the great our love and duration of our time together correlates to the pain we feel when our beloved is no longer there.

I’m so sorry for your loss also.

Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers, john (and marian) :pray:t2::sparkles:

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@jomar
I would agree that we become so entwined with each others lives we don’t feel like a whole person without the other. As I have said before, the term ‘my other half’ makes so much sense to most of us here. I’m sure there are other people who don’t feel like this as they weren’t as close but they are less likely to join this forum.

The volunteering is bound to be good as you have such a sense of purpose doing that. Feeling needed is good for anybody.
Love to you and prayers for you.

Karen xxx

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