Happy Birthday Frankie
My best friend and soulmate. My beautiful husband. I love you and miss you:blue_heart:
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Reading through posts at this hour sorry for your loss very hard on any occasion birthdays Christmas anniversary but every day is hard. Happy birthday to your husband x
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It was my Ron’s birthday yesterday.He would have been 68. I remembered past birthdays where he was like a child looking at presents and cards.This is his 3rd birthday that we have not been together.My heart still aches I never knew how much I loved him until he passed… No one mentioned him until later in the evening when my grand daughter said “It"s granddad birthday today Nan.”
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Hi so hard 8 months since Mick passed he was 64 bowel cancer spread to pancreatic cancer informed 3 days before he died. Sorry for your loss. I find people don’t speak about Mick now makes me so sad they never know how to approach me friends for years avoid me. Christmas birthdays etc don’t know how to get through it. I have a granddaughter age 3 in February keeps me going. How have you got through it. X
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I went to work today. Didn’t want to spend the day alone. Put the Christmas Dec’s up tonight and lit a candle. Was gonna wrap presents then it hit me that’s there’s none for Frankie. That destroyed me. He loved Christmas💙
Hi Kim.Ron had pancreatic cancer too but he lived 16 months from diagnosis and then he was so weak he got sepsis and passed quickly. I really thought we had another 5/10 years because the cancer had not spread and he had a nanno knife operation which is rare in the U K. I really don’t know how I have got through. I couldn’t even collect his ashes I was so distraught. The first year was a blur. I could not stay in the house and filled my calendar with lunch dates with my friends. My daughter had a house fire at Christmas (3 months after Ron had passed) so I never really saw that first Christmas as I had to help her.The 2nd year my children had invited my first husband(their dad) to dinner so I had Christmas dinner with a friend. I thought of it as just another day and went to bed early. I have not been out at New Year since Ron died. I have had real heavy waves of grief and then days where I feel ok. I think the rawness wears off eventually which helps. My home is my sanctuary now and I sometimes enjoy the solitude but sometimes I see my Ron sat on the sette or making a cup of tea and I feel so sad. I have lost myself and Christmas this year will be forced again.
I envy those people who put up the lights and decorations but inside I am empty. I sleep until dinner time every day quite easily and it helps pass the days. I can’t see a proper future for me now.Just days to pass.It becomes easier to accept that you are alone but somehow I can never feel complete. But everyone is different.I like to keep busy and have found working as a volunteer for charity has helped a lot as has this site. I hope next year will bring a glimmer of hope to us all.God bless and I do hope things get better for you soon Kim.x
Thank you for replying it’s so hard I’m dreading Christmas Day I know I have to get through it for sake of my granddaughter the thought of sitting around the table eating dinner gives me panick attacks I keep telling myself don’t think about it. Mick loved Christmas
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You will get through it Kim.
We all will.Just remember that anticipation is often worse than the actual event. Like you I can’t stand the thought of sitting at the Christmas table or remembering how Ron used to prepare all the veg the night before. Maybe you can change things around a little as I will or could you not visit someone else for Christmas dinner? I went to a friends last year and actually enjoyed the dinner but couldn’t wait to get home. I watched TV for a bit then took a sleeping pill and went to bed. I was so relieved when the day had gone. This year I am cooking dinner myself with a heavy heart but it will be another 1st overcome. Thinking of you.x
I was invited to my sisters Christmas Day but I am having my daughter and granddaughter so with restrictions in place to many at my sisters like you Mick used to take over diner I just laid the table was in his element I don’t want to be crying all the time in front of my granddaughter she’s so excited about Christmas coming up 3. Hope you get through it x