It’s my husband’s birthday tomorrow & I’m really dreading it. He left me suddenly 5 months & 2 weeks ago. Really, not sure how I feel, yes I’m so upset that he won’t be here to celebrate with our 2 adult children & myself but apart from maybe getting a takeaway, we wouldnt have bewn doing anything differently. Just so confused 
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Hi Julie the firsts are so hard . Still celebrate his special day go for a meal have a toast in his memory hes still in your heart and you have memories remember all the happy times and just be kind to yourself . Sadly we can’t change anything we have to make the most of this crap life we now have . Wishing you all the best .
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Hi
It’s my husbands birthday tomorrow.
6 months since he left.
I too am dreading it but I will try and keep busy
I’m taking my daughter (his step daughter) and son-in-law and 2 of my Grandaughters out for a meal
To celebrate Roger and to thank them for all they’ve done/are doing for me.
There will be tears, but I shall try to wait until I’m alone
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@Liro I left work at lunchtime as I wasn’t coping very well. I went to the cemetery with some flowers & sat & had a really good cry & a chat to him. We’ve decided to have a takeaway tonight & open one of his favourite bottles of champagne 
Good luck for tomorrow. Sending hugs x
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Thankyou.
Roger was cremated and I still have his ashes, until I decide what to do with him, so I have nowhere to visit.
But I do talk to him all the time.
Take care
Sending hugs
X x
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I hope tomorrow goes ok for you, a lovely idea to celebrate your husband and to be surrounded by loved ones. It will be hard but you got this
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@Liro Paul wanted to be buried so I couldn’t go against his wishes, though it gives me somewhere quiet to go. You can take your time to decide which is lovely 
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My wife wanted her ashes interned (as I do) in the cemetery to give family and friends a focal point,it was my wife’s birthday end of last month,I took family out for a meal to celebrate.
It started out sombre until we started talking about our many disasters,then there was much laughter.
Hope it goes well for you.
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@Ron11 what a lovely idea to all go out together. Maybe I’ll have a think about it for next year x
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Thankyou everyone for your kind words and understanding
@Julie184
Roger wanted to be cremated. I overheard him tell someone he wanted his ashes scattered.
Unfortunately I didn’t hear where and I can’t find who he said it to.
So I really don’t know what to do.
This really isn’t an easy journey is it?
Big hugs to everyone
Take care
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@Liro what a dilemma. I’m sure you will make the correct decision & he would be proud of you for making whichever decision you make 
It’s so hard but we’ll keep going to keep their memory alive x
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My wife and I discussed at length regarding our ashes,we agreed if we scatter them wherever they just get lost and blown away in the wind,if we kept them then what after we go,do they end up ignominiously eventually dumped in a black bin,so we decided internment in the cemetery was the best choice,it also gave family and friends a focal point,and who knows future generations who may decide doing family trees some usefull information.
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It is a dilemma.
I never thought I’d want ashes at home. But I’m quite happy with them being here.
My daughter said to keep them.
When I pointed out that he wanted to be scattered she said that he will, when I go we’d go together.
Its a nice thought, but I don’t know that that’s quite what he meant.
How I wish I hadn’t overheard part of that conversation
Thanyou all for caring
Big hugs
X x
@Liro I think thats a lovely idea & exactly what I was thinking, though it’s ultimately your choice. Take care xx
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Thankou so much for your kind thoughts.
I need to decide because he’s in a cardboard box, its a very nice cardboard box, but if he’s staying at home with me I shall get something more permanent
Big hugs
X x
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@Liro my husband said just in any box. Maybe a lovely intricate one until you decide as theres no rush.
Best wishes in your decision
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Hi, Everyone.
Its my Birthday today, 3rd birthday without my Husband, its early morning now. These days are so hard without our loved ones, I’m seeing the Family later for a.meal out somewhere, so thats nice to look forward to. What gets me when you say to people even family members that you miss.your Husband even more these.days. its, .well just remember the good times. Know they mean well but feel its like , well hes gone now , lets not really mention it. After 42 years of birthdays etc.its.flipping hard. Anyone else feel the same way
Makes me feel like a.miserable old so and.so , but Im not like that at all. 
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