husband would have been 60 yesterday. He passed way 19 months ago. I feel completely devastated all over again. I try to get my act together mostly because that’s what everyone expects but I realise that’s exactly what it was just an act. As time moves on I’m panicking that I’m getting further away from him. The life we built together for the last 37 years has just been ripped away. I feel sad, angry and cheated. I’m also trapped in the horrible existence. I hate sounding sorry for myself but I can say it here and I know someone will understand.
Sorry for my late night rant 
hopefully putting how I feel out there will help. Can’t say these things to family or friends
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My husband would’ve been turning 60 in October, his birthday is shared with my eldest son and my younger son is the day after! It has been a major celebration since we got together, just over 12 years ago……we always joked about having 3 birthdays in 2 days!!! My eldest son had already planned to be away with mates, golfing for the weekend and I really want him to still go. I feel I should celebrate Andy’s 60th in some way but not sure what to do! It’s also our 10th wedding anniversary on Friday! I’m only 5 weeks in and feel so lost and abandoned which I know Andy would hate. My thoughts are with you xxx
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I wish I had something deep and meaningful to say that would bring you comfort. Unfortunately we just have to muddle through it hour by hour.
There seems to be more celebrations than ever when you really don’t know what to do about them.
Don’t push yourself too hard, you’ll be an emotional loonie like me 
Take care sending love
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It was my husband birthday yesterday,we went out for a meal.My son who had special needs died last year from cancer .
It was not the same as we would have met up with him and gone for a meal . I wish I could meet up with God , and ask him why he gave us such a beautiful son and he survived so much. ,to walk and be independent, and then to give us 47 wonderful years with him . To then take him away in 3months to that horrible secondary bone cancer. Like everyone here it is so cruel .
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Yes I also have questions for him.
Martin was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2008 had a bone marrow transplant and all the treatment that went with it.
Soo you really think that’s it isn’t it?
But no god slapped him with pancreatic cancer in 2022.
Like some cruel joke.
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I know it is so unfair ,this horrible cancer hides and strikes again . I think we all like to ask the same Questions. Why, why. ???
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Today would have been John’s 77th birthday; he died very suddenly last October. My lovely neighbours asked me in for coffee, but otherwise it’s been such a sad and lonely day, full of memories and tears.
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