Blip Over!

[MrsT1]

I would just firstly like to apologise to anyone I have offended!

that was never my intention but I was in a very bad place!

So here we are in 2021! what has changed ? Nowt!! we still have lost our soul mates, children, Mums, Dads anyone who meant the world and more to us!

For me , its will soon be 7 months since my beloved husband passed, I miss him every second of every day.

I try to be a good Mum, daughter - I look after my Mum and Dad to the best of my ability also my son and daughter however I really just want to pull the quilt over my head and never set foot out the door! But that isnt an option, I have to carry on and carry on I shall.

Fridays where always mine and my husbands relax evening , if we didnt go out to watch our favourite group we would have a couple of drinks at home and listen to music.
I miss that xx

Everything seems so surreal however I realise everyone on here feels that way too x

Much Love , Mrs T xxxx

[Alston56]

Dear @MrsT1,
I honestly don’t think you have any need to apologise to anyone. We are all in a bad place, even on our better days, and this site should be a place where we can say how we really feel. Next Friday will be 6 months since I lost my wife, and I sit here at home each day, wondering why on earth I am still here when the most important person in my life is no longer with me. I find that, instead of getting stronger, I seem to be succumbing more to the hoplessness of my existence. I still have times where I break into tears (like now), or where I walk around the empty house screaming. My feeling is that I also died the day my wife passed away, she was (and still is) such a big part of me that her loss has left me an empty shell, with no purpose in life. I am not even half the person I used to be.
Like you, I miss my wife every minute of every day, and I speak to her and tell her that several times a day.
I tend not to post much on here nowadays, I find it difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into words, and I struggle to find anything positive to offer support to others. But I do read many of the posts, every day.
I’m glad that you feel a little more positive now, and wish you only the very best.

[MrsT1]

Dear @Alston56,

Thank you for your reply x

It’s horribly wrong and unfair the situation we find our selves in

I hope you are having a ‘better’ day , sending much love xx

[Jobar]

Dear Mrs T1,
It really is horribly wrong and unfair that we find ourselves on this forum. It is a place we never imagined needing.
I find it is the unfairness which is so difficult to accept. I feel completely cheated out of time I was so looking forward to with my husband. At 64 I realise he wasn’t young but neither was he old and I was looking forward to growing old together. Now I dread the prospect on my own.
I know I should be grateful for the lovely life we had together but we thought we were doing everything right to ensure a few more years.
Everywhere I look there are couples out walking and I long to be just like them. I want to go back to being a partnership and I can’t understand or accept how or why my husband died the way he did.
I remember that your husband also died suddenly and too young so I think it is only right to feel it is unfair. Seven months on you will still be in deep shock, I know I am after 14 months. It may be invisible to others but very real to us.
It is such a lonely life now so keep posting. I agree with Alston56 there is nothing to apologise for. Xx

[Jobar]

Dear Alston56,
It’s such a shame to feel unable to post for fear of having nothing positive to offer others. It’s only six months since you lost your wife suddenly and you shouldn’t feel inhibited from saying how you feel. I think your post will resonate with so many people on this site. It certainly has with me.
This site enables us to empathise with each other. Whereas we all strive to be more positive, sometimes it just doesn’t happen and on those frequent days just knowing we’re not alone is what gets us through. Take care. X

[MrsT1]

Thank you @Jobar xx

It’s the evening time that gets to me the most . I am busy during the day but the evenings are just soooo long and very lonely
Not helped by the whole lockdown situation at all , for any of us xx

Yes Dave my hubby had just had his 59th birthday a week before he passed , we had so many things still to do , plans , dreams…

This house seems so big n empty now without his larger than character to fill it.

Think I will wrap up n take the dogs for a walk , it will do is good and help while away a hour !

Take care xxx