I lost my lovely husband to End-Stage Congestive Heart Failure on 6th October. Age 71. He was sent home from Hospital as per his wishes for palliative care with a prognosis of weeks, which turned out to be hours. Those ‘weeks’ were planned to be as special as I could have made them but they never materialised. I feel I have just boarded a train with only the ultimate destination of bleakness/aloneness/sorrow with many different ‘stops’ inbetween. I don’t want to reach my destination because it is a realisation and acceptance that my Husband can’t ever come back. I want to jump off the ‘train’ before I get there. I also worry very much that I am not grieving correctly as well.
I don’t think there is any such thing as grieving correctly - everyone is different and you may also find that your feelings are different at different times. The most important thing is not to bottle it up and let your emotions do what they are doing at any given time.
This web page gives some information on some of the common emotions that people experience, which you may find helpful - http://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
Your image of the train is a apt one, and I’m sure a lot of other people on this site will identify with it.