Both parents gone

Hello, I’m 34 years old - I lost my Mum in June 2023 and my Dad when I was 7. I have no siblings. I feel so alone in my grief, and I don’t like to talk about missing my Mum because no words are ever enough. So I don’t bother. She was my life.
I don’t have many people to relate to, so would love to hear from others who are very unfortunately, in similar situations.
My 2 year old is the only reason I am continuing life as it was before, but with this, I have no time to sit with my grief and feel.
Anyway, can anyone relate?

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Hi Ziggy, I’m so very sorry to hear of your losses and the fact you have lost both parents at such a young age.

I lost my dad in 2021 to covid and my mum at the end of March this year to cancer following a very late diagnosis. I had lost both my parents by the age of 45 and I thought that I was far too young for this to happen, so I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you. I know that losing our loved ones at any age is horrendous but obviously, the older we are, the more expected it is.

I have found connecting with others on this site a huge comfort. I have met some very lovely people on here who have been through terrible traumas themselves that I now consider friends. I, like you, didn’t have anyone in my life that understood what I was going through. I do have a partner and a brother, but they can’t seem to relate to the depth of my despair- that’s why this forum has become so important to me.

I lived with my mum and it was just the two of us at home and, unfortunately, I don’t have any children. We were extremely close, as you were with your mum. I’m
so pleased you have your 2 year old to give you strength and spur you on.

I’m sorry I don’t have any great advice other than to keep reaching out on here where there is always someone to listen and understand.

Sending you love and best wishes xx


Just lost my Dad so both gone now and I’m an only child but I’m much older. I think so many people will relate to this.


Ive just signed up to Sue Ryder today because I feel like I have no one to relate to either. I am only 32 and lost my Mum at the start of September. I feel so alone as I have no other family I am close to. I have my husband who I love, and like your child, he and our dog is the only thing keeping me going right now. I feel so robbed losing her this young. She was everything to me and I was everything to her. So you’re not alone losing your parent in your early thirties, with no other close family :disappointed: It’s really hard and really unfair. I relate :broken_heart:


Like Lucy,I have found comfort in this forum.I haven’t posted much (only replied a couple of times at this point) but reading peoples posts have shown me there’s so many different versions of grief,some I resonate with,some I don’t but the kindness and warmth everyone shows each other is wonderful.
If you feel you can, maybe come on when the little ones in bed and chat away if you need to,don’t suffer mum died in august I’m 52 and it’s the most confusing, hurtful thing I’m having to navigate.We’re all here for each other :purple_heart:


Thank you all so much for sharing with me - I’m just utterly bereft. My darling Mum was my everything, my life, my warmth, my focus. I really miss someone genuinely caring about my day.

How have you all coped with work? I had 6 months off while Mum was ill. Then 6 weeks summer holidays after she died. But I feel like I need time to grieve. Time on my own, with my own thoughts.

Does anyone have any tips on therapy/counselling? I want to make sure I find the right person x

Hi Ziggy. I relate to you so bad. My mum was my everything too, my whole family, my joy, light, comfort and safety. I didn’t realise all this enough at the time and I feel so bad about that. And I feel so lonely now. I had 5 weeks off work while my mum was in hospital and another 5 weeks off after she passed. I’ve only recently gone back to work and it’s been so hard. In a way it gives me something else to think about, so I’m not wallowing in the grief 24/7, but then I cry when I get home and feel like people at my work just don’t understand. I put on a brave face but have never felt lower in my life. I am having bereavement counselling once a week and I don’t know if it’s helping or not, it helps to vent certain things, but the counsellor can’t offer actual advice so sometimes it just feels like I’m talking and getting no help and to someone else who again just doesn’t understand. I know what you mean about your mum genuinely caring about your day. My mum would do the same with me, always checking in and being genuinely interested. No one else cares like she does and gives me unconditional love. It’s such a loss and I can’t see how I’ll ever get over it, it’s so sad that I must live so much of my life with the weight of that sadness. You must feel the same as you are a similar age. If you ever want to pm me, feel free x


I’ve been off work for 11 weeks, thinking about going back soon. I need a bit more of a routine and structure to my day. It’s so difficult trying to fill the days, when I’m used to working full time. I know I’ll be supported by the team I work with, so that’s my next plan.
I have been writing down a lot of my feelings, letters to people (not to send) and trying to write out in as much detail as I can remember the days surrounding mums death. That’s been really helpful, so I’ve not fully considered counselling yet, but it’s not something that I would rule out either.

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@Woo4 the way you describe the “comfort and safety” that your mum gave you, and the “unconditional love” you received is what I felt so upset in loosing. I don’t think we realise how much it means until they’re gone. But I feel so grateful to have had it. (I’ve not recognised many grateful feelings of late!) And hopefully one day those thoughts will bring us some comfort instead of pain

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