both parents passed away

My mother passed away May 24,2018 and my father passed June 10,2018 , just 17 short days apart. People say it was a true love story . I know they didnt want to be here without each other . My mom was 88 and my dad was 94, needless to say it was their time.With that being said it doesnt make the loss any easier if anything it makes it harder, I was fortunate to have them for 61 years now they are both gone in a flash. will this sorrow ever go away? Will I ever stop crying ? Is this my new normal , an emotional wreck?

Hi Marey,

I am so saddened for you losing both your parents within such a short time of each other. You are very philosophical saying it was their time but it doesn’t make it any easier to bear. What is wonderful is you enjoyed their company for so long, My Dad passed away when I was in my 30s and my Mum a couple of years ago. She had over 20 years without my Dad and I honestly do not know how she coped.

I love your comment about it being a true love story. They must have been together such a long time, would that we could all have such happiness in a relationship that lasts so long.

This is a dreadful time for you and quite possibly you are in shock at the moment and are likely to be for some time. Crying is good for you as it relieves built up tension so don’t worry about that in the slightest. Feeling sorrow is only natural, it is very hard to go from having both your parents to a complete change of situation. I am sure you have lots of things that need doing, too much I suspect. Do make time for yourself though, even a few minutes sitting and relaxing can make all the difference. Cups of tea and biscuits are a great comfort. People said to be kind to myself when I lost Mum and I really understand that now. The need to ‘just be’. I found walking helped a lot, better when it rains as the tears don’t show so much, relaxing baths. I carried a packet of sweets with me everywhere at first. A little sugar rush stopped me crying in public often, the act of unwrapping them and chewing both seemed to work.

I am not going to say it gets better, it gets different. A resignedness to what has happened. I can think of both my parents now with fondness and no longer cry uncontrollably in public. I miss them both terribly still, Mum more so as that loss has been more recent. I accept that some days I am now more quiet and withdrawn.

I know the next few weeks are going to be hard for you and really wish you well. Keep coming back here if you need to. I found this forum not long after losing my Mum and am so glad I did. There are always kind people who will message you and help you. Even in the middle of the night I found.

Mel

I’m so sorry for your loss, you must be reeling from the shock of losing both your mum and dad in such a short time. It’s still early days, really early days. I wish I could give you words of comfort or ease your sad heart… I hated all the cliche’s but all I can say is take the day as it comes… look after yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through the day… rest and accept help… sending you a hug xxxx

I am sorry for your loss as well . Thank you for your encouraging words . We are having their service next Tuesday , I think I will feel much better after they have been taken care of. My father was a WWll veteran . They will be laid to rest at the veterans cemetery . They will be escorted up the mountain by the veterans motorcade . It will be sending them off the way he wanted . My mom will forever be guarded by heros !
Maybe next time my post will be less about me and more about you ! Have a great day ,and thank you again for your kind words.
Mary

Hi Mary,

That sounds as if it will be quite an occasion next Tuesday. You must be so proud of your Dad and yes how lovely to have your Mum escorted and guarded by heroes. My Mum served in WWII and mention was made of this at her funeral. Mum never really said much about those years outside the family and I wanted people to know about a side to her they hadn’t realised.

At the moment it is all about you, keeping yourself healthy and able to cope to with the next few weeks. I hated people telling me to eat properly but now understand why. I felt so much better for proper meals so make the time for them, comfort food is all. Anything that is quick and easy to make.

I hated knowing people would be looking at me the day of the funeral. A friend very kindly did my hair for me and I brought a new top for myself which Mum would have liked. Haven’t worn it since but may do so one day. Knowing I looked reasonable helped somewhat even if I did cry almost solidly the whole day.

Take care of yourself.

Mel

Back to top