Having today woken up to the extremely tragic news that Dame Deborah Jones has sadly passed away after her very public fight with bowel cancer. It’s brought back all my feelings, my husband passed away 3 months ago from this awful disease and I can’t stop the tears from flowing, I have visited his grave and had a chat, now sitting in a very quiet home I just can’t stop thinking about all the struggles we went through and this god same disease still keeps taking our loved ones away. I hope anyone who reads this and can relate to this has a better day than me 
RIP Deborah and my Geoff 
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Dear @Sarah72
I sorry to hear the loss of your husband Geoff. It is very sad that Dame Deborah James has passed away but she highlighted this awful disease in a positive way.
Understandably this must be hard for you having to relive all the feelings you have previously gone through and the struggles your husband went through as there has been so much coverage on Dame Deborah James through television, radio and social media.
There will be better days ahead. Please be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time.
Take care.
Pepsi
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Hello I really do fully empathise with you I also sadly lost both my parents to bowel cancer I cared for my Dad at home till he passed 11 years ago and my Mum at Home till she passed 17 months ago.
When I heard last night of the very sad passing of Dame Deborah I suddenly went very quiet and the memories of my parents and how nasty that horrendous Illness is came flooding back what a rollercoaster we have been on and are still on take care Julie xx
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I feel the same. My husband died last sept from bowel cancer. He put up a very brave fight and had lots of problems. Hearing the very sad news of Dame Deborah Jame’s death brought it all back. I was pleased I was meeting a friend this afternoon so had a nice afternoon and feeling better now.
RIP Dame Deborah and everyone else this awful disease has taken
Sending hugs xx
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Chris to had bowel.cancer he was diagnosed in 2012 had a 12 months remission then it was back regular chemo managed it untill June of last year by August it was terminal but we thought we would have some time but by mid November he’s passed away at home. Lockdown stole the time we desperately needed and shielding was no walk in the park either but we went out sat by the sea and drank coffee and talked and I am so thankfully we had that time .
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Mark was diagnosed with prostrate cancer in 2017 which was treated successfully but at the end of 2018 he was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Doctors said he was very unlucky as they were two separate cancers.
Lots of complications after his operation then it spread to his liver and lung. Like you we didn’t get to spend the time doing what we would like due to covid but at least we spent a lot of time together. Our daughter’s wedding was postponed 3 times and finally happened in September. Mark was deteriorating a lot in the weeks leading up to it but he battled on to see her married. He died at home 4 days later. Everyone was amazed how he managed to be so strong. I was told later that the district nurses who were coming to see him thought he wasn’t going to get there.
Xx
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I felt similar emotions when I heard that Dame Deborah had died. John died of bowel cancer 18 months ago and my Mum was diagnosed with it a year ago. My Mum even has the same rare variant that Deborah James had and she has been following her blog. Mum has been able to have life extending treatment (similar to Deborah James’) and she is still fighting very hard. John’s was diagnosed far too late for anything at all to be done. I don’t blame the NHS for that- he refused to go to the doctor for a long time after he should have gone. In many ways I relived John’s illness in the early stages after Mum’s diagnosis as she (understandably) had many questions that she couldn’t really ask anyone who hadn’t been through it.
I do think that Deborah James was amazing though in both the awareness and the money she raised. Hopefully more people will now get themselves checked out and lives will be saved as a result.
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Deborah’s James strength and honesty was nothing short of magnificent. She also showed an example of having a ‘good’ death by acknowledging she was dying and that it wasn’t ok to die. She wanted to live. I think she shine a light on how totally unprepared most of us (def including me) are to even think about death let alone talk honestly as we are dying. We are all in the same boat, we are all going to die sooner or later. Yet it’s still a taboo subject. It’s fine by everyone to talk endlessly about a new baby but not the other end of life’s scale, dying. I don’t see people feeling anxious about celebrating a new baby, but mention our loss and so many people feel uncomfortable and would rather cross the street that acknowledge it. We don’t get any preparation for something that for all of us is eventually inevitable. When someone we really love dies it’s the worst type of pain, yet so many people are too frightened of our misery ‘infecting’ them that it’s easier to change the subject or tell someone to be strong, when they need support not platitudes. What’s happened to me has made me realise all this and it’s a bitter pill to swallow. Three cheers for this place! Where we can talk honestly in good company. Sending hugs and all best wishes xxx
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I too followed Deborah’s blog as my son was also diagnosed with this cruel disease. I was so sad when she passed such a brave woman.
I lost him in August, a previously fit and healthy young man he lasted just 10 months. I’m devastated, this pain is the worse of my life, nothing compares having lost both parents and my brother too when I was younger.
I’m lucky to have grandchildren, my son left a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old baby. I thought losing my mum in her late 80’s was bad (my dad when I was 19, brother at 17) but now I know what true grief is and am not sure I wish to continue this life but wouldn’t wish to cause my daughter and her little ones (same ages) any more pain. I want to someday do something to help early diagnosis so people won’t face this dreadful diagnosis at late stages, but at present I’m not strong enough & don’t know where to start x
Re above post I list my son in December not August, don’t know how that happened.
I know what you mean. Losing my daughter was as you say, devastating. I’d lost my parents and a loving partner all awful experiences but the shock and trauma of losing my girl was just utterly overwhelming. It’s now been a year and the waves upon waves of pain have subsided. I still think of her a good deal of the time but I am able to get through the day without feeling that I can’t breath for the pain. I can feel pleasure and even laugh, I would have thought that impossible but life goes on. It’s never going to be the same tho and I will never be the same, there will always be that yearning and loss just beneath it all. It’s a long and slow journey grieving somebody you gave birth too. Someone on here said ‘we always keep them in our hearts pocket’ xxxxx
Thank you for your reply, I can’t wait for these waves of pain to subside, to not be ‘slapped’ round the face with emotion which seem to come from nowhere, so you give me a little glimmer of hope.
I wish you well, from one mother to another, who should never have to experience this pain xx