@Annaessex brilliant comments, thanks. I’m a year in, and numpties still say all the stupidest things. I feel like smacking the next person who says: “I know how you feel as my Mum/Dad died…” in the chops!
My Dad also died a few months ago, abd it was nothing - whereas losing my darling Sharon has torn my very soul apart.
A good standard reply to "how are you doing? “ is…“still shit, but thanks for asking”.
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@Annaessex brilliant comments, thanks. I’m a year in, and numpties still say all the stupidest things. I feel like smacking the next person who says: “I know how you feel as my Mum/Dad died…” in the chops!
My Dad also died a few months ago, and it was nothing - whereas losing my darling Sharon has torn my very soul apart.
A good standard reply to "how are you doing? “ is…“still shit, but thanks for asking”.
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Lol … i like it ! So true …cant even compare it to anything else can you xx
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Dear DennisS, I also lost my parents years ago and I thought that would be the worst pain I ever could feel. How wrong I was. The pain I am feeling now after losing my beloved husband suddenly in February this year is more intense and it seems never-ending. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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Yeh the worse loss we could ever experience for sure !!! Xx
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Ha … someone said to me this morning … about losing their mum … although she was only 22 so guess it was pretty traumatic at that age ! X however i agree with you … they no idea how hard it is do they ! Xx
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You know both my parents are still alive, both 82, which is lovely and all that.
But I have selfish thoughts, because I think it’s not fair that they are both still here, and with each other, another couple, where as I, their daughter is the widow.
I also really worry that when it does happen, I won’t have any strong emotions, cos I’ve already had to deal with, and live the most intense grief possible, as I know it won’t be anywhere near my sadness from losing my husband .
But my siblings, on the other hand, will expect me to feel the same as them.
Grief really is so complicated, and so, so exhausting.
Big hugs 
Thank you for allowing my thoughts to come spilling out of my head xxx
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@Deb5 I think it is definitely different losing a parent at a older age. My son is 22 and losing his dad has broken his heart as they were so close to each other. Like best friends. If my husband was older and had lived his life and seen my son hit his milestones then it is more acceptable as natural to die old age. X
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@Cathphil I know exactly what you mean as my parents are in their mid eighties and my husband died at 53 years old. Though my son is 22 and miss his dad like mad and upset that he won’t see his milestones in life.
Life is definitely unfair and cruel and I miss my husband so much and cry every day and wish he would come back to us 
xx
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I same …my parents are both 83 ( but divorced !).and still here !!! Why did my darling husband have to go at only 60 years old ! Its just not fair is it !!! And regarding your siblings - don’t worry about that at the moment ! Least of your worries right now !!! Xxx
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Yep i agree … they were cut down in their prime ! When life should’ve been getting easier! Had my bereavment counselling this morning and she said - youve been dealt a s**t hand ! Too right !! 
xxx
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Yeh its young isnt it … it was many years ago though cos shes a grown woman now with a family ! I was agreeing with @DennisS when people try to compare it to when they lost a parent ! Its really not the same ! I lost my step mother 4 years ago and a nana but never had pain like this ever before ! Xx
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Debs it is a terrible pain which seems to be getting worse with time. I just wish my mind would accept that my husband is not coming back because at the moment I keep imagining my handsome husband walking through the door and this has all been a awful mistake 
Xx
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Somebody summed up the difference between losing a partner and a sibling/parent etc. When it’s another relative they are a part of your life. When it’s your partner it’s your whole life, past & future that has been destroyed. Sending hugs to everyone on this shitty journey. Xx
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buried both parents and all 4 grandparents and I’ve never known pain like it when my wife died. it’s literally indescribable until you have to endure it. 9 1/2 weeks into this joyless new life.
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Oh yeh bless her … i hope she is ! I know i just cry cos i cant really believe hes not here anymore either ! @PollyjaneW said last night she shakes her head cos she cant believe it and that’s what i do … shake my head in disbelief … Much love xxx
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I agree there isnt really a pain like it !!! And not just that it completely messes with your life ! Turns your whole world upside down ! xxxx
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Yeh course cos you do everything together don’t you ? Eat together , sleep in same bed, laugh together , go on holiday together ! The list is endless ! I miss all those things and more like mad !!
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@Jan17
Thank you…that sums up the difference perfectly.
And I have read on numerous sites, that losing a husband, wife, partner is the most traumatic thing that we have to deal with.
Those wedding vows till death do US part are more spot on than I ever realised… It’s not till one of us departs, it’s until we both do - 'US '.
(I really hope I haven’t offended anyone, I know lots of people can go on to find love again.)
Just expressing my feelings right now
Xxxx
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