My first partner died in December 2020 of leukaemia he told me to be happy and to live my life in September 2021 I might a lovely man I dodged about wether to let him in to my life but I eventually did. Without disrespect for my first partner I knew Pete was my forever person he helped me with my grief and loved me for being me. On 30th march 2022 I sat and held another person I loved deeply pass away. We were only together for 6 months but it was meant to be and I miss him everyday. Everyday seems to get worse and I just want to be with him and for him to hold me again. Sometimes I wish I never wake up. I’m only 48 years old and I don’t know how much more I can take does anyone else feel like this please

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I’m so sorry for your losses, to have to go through that twice must be so awful.

I lost my mum on the 12th of this month so it’s still very raw. I feel exactly the same as you do. I can be ok for a bit and then all I can think of is how I’m meant to carry on and live my life without her. I’m only 31 and the prospect of living the rest of that time without her seems unbearable.

Speaking to people on here has been a huge help, nothing can take that heartache away but it does help to share with people in the same situation.

When I get really low and don’t know how I’ll carry on I think of my mum and how angry she would be if I were to just give up. Utilise the support around you. If someone offers to help then take the help.

If you ever want a chat then don’t hesitate to contact me.

Lucy x

Hi Sugar1

Thank you for posting and welcome to the community. You will find support from our resources and from others who use the forum.

If you are feeling particularly low at the moment, please take a look at the urgent help section - the Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk to and their phone number is detailed above.

You’ve been through a really tough time with the loss of not one but two people that you love - and what you are feeling is totally normal, but it’s hard to deal with on your own.

Please keep talking and reaching out for help - support is there for you to get through this in small steps.


Thankyou for your kind words. I just miss him so much, we had all sorts of plans and things going on and that makes it difficult to function some days I feel numb and empty. I work in a village pub and everybody is so great but I put a work face on and say I’m ok but I go home back to a empty bed and cuddle his jumper every night, I miss the way every morning he would kiss my head and say morning gorgeous. Is it crazy to listen to voicemails just to hear his voice or am I making myself worse.