Broken

Losing a partner
1

I have not posted for a while. I am completely broken. Frances past away may 30 last year. I have had some support to help me through this aweful time. I also have joined groups and have councilling both group and one to one. This last three weeks have been terrible, it’s having so many bad memories, today I feel completely broken what’s the point of my life. There is no point any more my beloved is not here, all I do is cry. Friends have said it’s past, live the day, Frances would wanted me to live life for both of us, how can I enjoy life without her… Does it get better I am still staring at the abyss.

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Hi @Carl2242,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Frances. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling broken.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:

https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, Carl, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

Alex

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Thanks Alex
I am ok tonight, I have my two adult children to consider so I do not have the courage.
I’ll take one day at.the.time, but there are too many memories from last February , hospital radiology and then the news there was no hope, on 14 February. Hence I feel broken. Thanks for you support

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Thank you again @Carl2242 , for sharing - Please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care

Alex

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3 posts were split to a new topic: Finding posts without a response

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@Carl2242
If it were only as easy as following that advice ‘get over it.’
I don’t think we should have unrealistic expectations and to me ‘getting over it’ is unrealistic.
Learning to live alongside our grief is more realistic and achievable.

I try to look for the glimmers of positivity and celebrate any achievement, no matter how small. I am luckily a glass half full type of person so have always looked for the positives in any situation without thinking about it. It is so hard to see positives in the death of the love of my life but I still do. Amongst others Richard would have hated growing old and not being able to do the physical things he valued himself for.

Maybe you could write down anything you DO manage and CAN do and try to see some hope in doing those things and that you are doing them for both of you as Frances wanted.
I do hope you can find some peace in your heart to have a life until it is time for you two to be reunited.
Sending love xxx

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