I am reaching out the only way I know how.
No one seems to understand that the loss of my grandad is causing a pain that I cannot cope with.
I have 3 children all under 18 who are struggling, particularly my daughter (13) and we had a lot of family issues prior to this which have now been put aside because I can’t get out of the pain.
My boys (10 / 8) are asking what the point of life is ( I have reached out to Jeremiah’s Journey for them) and my daughter who was also really close to my grandad is broken (luckily her school have been amazing).
I just don’t know how to carry on. I know I have to but I don’t know how. I have been doctors I spoke with bereavement teams and I just hope writing things down will help me understand.
He died on Christmas Eve and although he had a panic / fall button he didn’t use it. He just gave up.
Grandad was very spiritual so I am trying to hold onto the fact he is here somewhere but I can’t. He left me.
The family just seem to care about the money, selling his house and I just want him back. I know it’s not possible.
My nanny died 10 years ago of cancer so I have no one now. The rest of my family think I am the ‘strong one’ and although I’ve reached out they just say ‘it will be ok’ - it doesn’t feel like it will.
Anyway thanks for reading and I have started a journal in search for a patchwork repair.