Building a new life

I realise that I need to build a new life of some sort for myself. My lovely husband who I married when I was 24 is no longer here. I’m nearly 60 now. I need to live on a lot less money and/or get a new job. I am really struggling to go back to the activities we did together, it is just too painful to be reminded of his loss, so need new ones. I need to be more confident about making decisions about the house. How do I start?


Just take small steps. Make a list of things that you feel you need/want to do and work through the list, a little at a time. When the time is right to make the changes then you will make them. There is no wrong or right way to do things, you just got to start somewhere.
Probably not helped very much.


Thank you for your wise words.

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I would say you have already started. Recognising that you need to make a new life is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome.
As Ali says make a list of what you want to achieve, and also of all the things you may already have achieved. No matter how small they may seem.
I like to think by taking small steps a new life over time will emerge.


Lists are invaluable. They allow you to focus. I tend to try and tick 1 thing off the list a day. Today I opened two parcels that arrived Friday. Can include everyday things. E.g today I put the recycles out in the bins ready for my neighbour to move them to the curb and emptied the dishwasher which has needed doing also since Friday. If you need help in practical things don’t feel frightened or ashamed to ask. My loo seat was loose and it was one with hidden fixings so I asked my neighbours husband to show me. People are normally pleased to help. Xx


I understand your situation. I lost my wife of 42 years suddenly and unexpectedly this past April while vacationing. I have no profound insights to offer as I am dealing with my own uncertainties. The numbness and inability to make decisions seems to be my constant companion these days. You are not alone.


I know what you mean. I quit my second job as partner was moving in, now I’ll have to get another one and find it a bit overwhelming to be doing sux days a week again. Like everyone says, I guess one step at a time is the only way to do it. Are you close to the people you work with?