Hi all. Just looking for opinions. My mum passed away on 1st January as a result of COPD. I am in bits as I was just not expecting it and she was only 73. Should have had many years ahead. We had just bought a new house and she was looking forward to the better weather and being able to get outside.
We were talking about getting a dog for the past few years and the plan was to get one this year when the weather was better. Strangely about 2 weeks before mum left us she asked if we were still going to get a dog and she said she was not sure as she liked things the way they were. I miss mum so much and I am now wondering whether to get a dog or not. I was just wondering if anyone bought a dog following the death of a loved one and whether it helped cope with their loss.
Thanks
Yes absolutely, they kept me going over Christmas and New Year, they make my life happy x
Hello again, Barrie,
I love my Springer Spaniel, Polly, she was Stan’s dog really but since he died she will not let me out of her sight. Having said that she is coming home next Monday, our daughter came and collected her after I was taken into hospital. I have missed her since I came home, the comfort she brings to me is great. I would recommend having a pet dog.
Mary x
Hi Barrie,
Have you thought about fostering a dog for the Dogs Trust or Cinnamon Trust for a short time? That will give you an idea of how a dog would fit into your life.
The things to think.about before you do get a dog are- who would look after the dog if you were ill ? Want to go on holiday ? If you’re at work all day it’s not fair to leave a dog in the house alone for 8 hours.
I used to do rehoming for a dogs home and so many dogs came back after a few weeks because people hadn’t considered what’s involved. If you decide a full time commitmrnt is too much you could walk a neighbours dog or help.a rescue centre walk dogs. Ive been left alone with my.dog since my partner died and it’s been really difficult.
Hope this helps, Sadme
That’s a good idea Sadme. We used to board Guide Dogs during their final three months of training. The trainer would pick the dog up first thing in the morning and then drop back at teatime. We would feed it (food supplied), walk it and have it overnight and at weekends. After the three months the dog went to a blind person. We also gave a home to a retired guide dog. It’s worth investigating Barrie…x
Thanks, that is not a bad suggestion. Something for me to think about. I still have my dad and he lives with me so a dog would not be left alone and also would provide some company to my dad.
Hi Barrie without doubt a dog is the best company you could have. Their love is unconditional and if you or your dad is retired it get’s you out and you meet other dog walkers and have a chat.
I had two when my husband died. We both knew what was happening and he encouraged me to have dogs again as I had a rest for a while after my previous dog died. However I have owned dogs most of my life and used to be a trainer.
It’s a good idea to try fostering as I see problems all the time with people who take on a dog and haven’t a clue about them or how to train. Many owners have problem dogs because they have no idea how to behave with a dog and make the dog nervous and even aggressive. What the owner feels will transmit down the lead to the dog. On the other hand what you gain from owning a dog is amazing and I wonder if I would have got through the first months after losing my husband without the help of my furry therapists. How I love them. I don’t bother about holidays now as I don’'t want to be without my dogs. But there is always a way to get around things if you really want a dog. Plenty of dogs in rescue centres where you can find something that will suit yourself and your dad, they will advise you. Good luck xx
Barrie1376 I think you should definitely get a dog. They give you unconditionally love which you will return. They know your mood and when you need comforting. You would also meet other people when dog walking and it would be company for your Dad when you were out. They bring joy and happiness, they make you laugh even in your darkest times. After I lost my husband it was my wee dog who made me get out of bed in the morning or I probably wouldn’t bother. They are a lot of work and commitment but so worth it.
V xx
Thanks for the responses. Think getting a dog is probably still on the cards. Wish I had pushed ahead and got one before my mum passed away but I guess she would still want me to get one.
Hi I got a puppy when my husband died. It was really hard at first as it was a week after he died. My daughters encouraged me to get a puppy as well. At the time I thought I had made a big mistake, however I persevered and I am so pleased that I have her. I feel that my dog has saved me as I do t think I would have got through some days. I come home to a lovely greeting, I hear her breathing and snoring and I talk to her as well. I’m teaching her how to behave and watching her develop is lovely. My dog will never ever replace my husband, I miss him so much, it has only been three months and every day is a challenge. I have to get up in the mornings and I have to ensure that the house and garden is clean. My dog helps me to do that.
It is personal choice and it is hard work but I think worth it
Hello, Andy,
At first I could not care for our Springer spaniel, our daughter took her we are all dog lovers. One day I realised that I missed her so much and it wasn’t fair to Polly, she had lost Stan, the poor little thing was so confused. Our daughter and her husband live in beautiful countryside and Polly was enjoying the company, yet when she came home she was so excited, bless her. She has made a huge difference to my life. A young couple come every day, I pay them of course, it is worth every penny. I am so pleased to have her back.
So yes, in my opinion. you have done the best thing.
Blessings
Mary x x x
Hi Pattidot,it’s Corinna,I had been struggling with the technology since the site changed…but it seems I have finally cracked it!Your doggy advice is spot on (wouldn’t expect otherwise from you!)I absolutely wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my animals,but I won’t let them down as they don’t let me down.Hope you’re bearing up particularly in these difficult times.I feel numb today,had terrible graphic dreams,relating to Roy’s death,usually when I dream of him,it’s nice, like having him back for a bit.I try not to be selfish,making things about me,when so many others are suffering at the moment.But I suppose we’re only human and what affects us personally is the most powerful emotion.
I see some old faces and many new ones on the site;sending love and peace to all of you,we are all suffering the intense pain of grieving,we are all here for each other.Corinna xx
Hi Corinna, Lovely to hear from you again and pleased you still draw comfort from your animals. We owe them so much don’t we, couldn’t find friendship and love anywhere like they give us.
At this moment Bugsy is hiding under the coffee table terrified as someone let off a firework when people was out clapping tonight, wish they wouldn’t do that.
So sorry your having bad dreams relating to Roy, that must be very distressing. I had many visitations from Brian during the first year and they were really uplifting but sadly they seem to have stopped now.
Yes many new faces now on forum.
Take care
Pat xxx
Can’t sleep tonight but have to chuckle at the loudest snoring coming from the smallest of my dogs!