Can I go on?

Very suddenly at Xmas time I lost my wonderful husband who I was married to for 20 years he was 37. We have a child who is 14. I’m always worryin if I’m a failure etc with my daughter or not bein a good mum. We were inseparable from New Year’s Eve 2000 up till that tragic day We got married in 2003 and then our daughter followed 2005. Sometimes I wonder if I’d be better off joining him I take medication but I’m always cryin I can’t even go in a shop with gout cryin. They say it gets easier? I’m proof it doesn’t x

hi bellaboo. very sorry for your loss.
your in the very early stages of grief ,your going be very emotional .
just let all your feeling go dry if you need,just know that we on this site
have all lost loved ones and can empathise with what you are going through,
there is no set time limit on grief,you may well learn to live with this terrible loss.
just do what ever it takes to get you through each and every day.and try to be their
for your daughter doubt she will be devastated at losing her dad.
hope you can get a little comfort from this site and the wonderful members,
who will try reach out whilst suffering themselves.
try stay safe.

1 Like

Hi jianye
Thank u so much for replying I’m looking forward to contacting other members etc and maybe make new friends along the way. I know I have a long way to go and it’s going to be a tough journey can I do it? Who knows it’s not only mentally exhausting it’s emotionally and physically exhausting but thank u for welcoming me

But that is no time at all. Have you been in touch with Cruse? They have been a help to me, my husband passed away in November. I try to imagine I will meet him again one day but I have no faith. I wish this pain would stop and I wish this longing would disappear. I cannot offer you any comfort Bellaboo but you are not alone in your pain xx

Bellaboo, the others are right, it is early days and crying is very normal and you may want to cry for some time to come. Unfortunately we don’t talk about what grief can be like, so when it happens to us, it’s strange and unknown. There’s no time limit or end date because we are all different and believe it or not, not everyone suffers grief. Those are the lucky people, we, all on this site have or are doing and it takes on different forms. Everyone here welcomes you and will do what they can to help you and your little girl. Try Cruse, there is a waiting list so it wouldn’t happen over night but reading what others say does help because then you know it’s ‘normal’ and you are not going mad. Try to be kind to yourself and please take care. Blessings S

Hi Bellaboo. Yes the others are right it is early days. It’s only been 5 months for me since I lost my wonderful man, but it sounds like it’s hitting you harder. Remember there are no rules, no guidebook for this. The way you feel is legitimate. Most of the time I am ok, but I have the odd meltdown. I just go through the motions of daily life because I don’t know what else to do. Eating, exercising, keeping busy. I have found that it feels better than it did a couple of months ago. I hope you can put up with it in the hope that one day it will be less painful. All the best x