Hello there - thanks for visiting the community and sharing your story. It’s something that will always be with you, for sure, but as time goes on, you do learn to ‘cope’ - even if you never fully get over it.
We’ve actually published some research today that shows on average it takes people in the UK 2 years, 1 month and 4 days to feel ‘better’ after bereavement - but this will vary from person to person and there’s no right or wrong way to handle this and you shouldn’t worry that you’re not feeling ‘ok’ again.
We had another post this morning here on the community in response to someone else who is having a hard time that really resonated after reading what you’ve put here and I thought I’d share it:
A post from Karen Miller about how she copes after the death of her mum.
Bereavement can make one self-centred, as you say, but that’s no bad thing and is part of a coping strategy - even if you say this is non-existent. The fact you’ve posted here and are seeking help medically are positive steps…