My dear Dad passed away in November. He had a short battle with an aggressive cancer. We had 3 months of intensity, hospitals after hospitals, surgery, fighting for care and treatment. It was full on with also working full time and then trying to be there for my family at home. I would visit the hospital every day after work and then when we got Dad home for palliative care my sister and I would alternate 24 hours to help care for my Dad at night and support him and my mum (along with visits from hospice carers).
We’ve just had my Dads ashes interned at a cemetery and I’m seriously struggling to get my head around it all. How the man we all loved and adored, that would sit in the lounge with us was reduced to silent ashes. I can’t join them both up. I question why we’re all on this planet and what’s the purpose of work and stress etc, when we just disappear one day.
I’ve been seeking signs from Dad, that his soul is sending us messages… but now I’m questioning all of that and if it’s really just so on and off with life. That there’s nothing.
I feel so low, not suicidal. Just can’t get my head up to doing anything. I’m on meds for anxiety and depression, have been for years.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us. I can hear the love and the pain in your words.
You are not alone and will find a lot of support on our Losing a parent category. You might also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful as you cope with your grief.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Cakey dear one,it is the most horrendous thing to think about .But I can give you some good that you will get a sign from him .I had a lovely dream about my dad and I really think it’s him comforting me .please reach out anytime .I am lost at the moment and don’t really know how to navigate things as I am on my own .some days I cope better than others .what you had gone through re palliative care is very draining on the carer .But the love you and your sister gave him was a blessing that you don’t see now but will take comfort for in the future as many do not get that time with their loved ones when they die suddenly .I also feel very low and find everything just so hard at the minute. But am taking the advice from others here that I can take it day by day and pray for better days x