Can’t seem to ‘move on’ and still crying

I lost my Grandad in March last year. I was very close to him. I just can’t seem to sort of move on from everything. Whenever he is mentioned I have to stop myself from crying in front of people and then I end up crying later when I am alone.

I am learning to drive and put a deposit down for my first car today. When my Grandad was alive, he used to give me and my cousin £20 each every time he saw us and he did this for me for just over 17 years from my birth until he passed away. Most of this money went in the bank for me to use when I’m older, mainly for the purpose of buying a car. Today I found the exact car I had been looking for for months and when we sorted the deposit out my mum said how proud my Grandad would be of me. I had to keep sipping a drink to stop me from crying. I just feel really guilty because the car is lovely and my parents are so excited for me but when I think about the car all I can think about is my Grandad and I end up crying.

My grandparents (Nan is still alive) were/are my biggest supporters in everything. I think I just feel really sad that my Grandad isn’t here to see me learn to drive and also get my exam results (A Level exams start next week).

It just feels like everyone else in the family has ‘finished’ with their grief and I’m still crying every night and every time my Grandad gets mentioned. Any advice would be much appreciated.

I’m so sorry for your loss it’s utterly devastating please contact your doctor in my thoughts and prayers stay blessed Adele x

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Hi KC18, So sorry about your Granddad. Grandparents play an important role in our early lives. The car is a such a meaningful gift from your Granddad, and a tangible symbol of his love and concern for you. In a way he will be riding along with you every time you drive. He will be there to keep you safe. I also find it interesting that you found the “exact” car you were looking for. Your Granddad’s wisdom will guide you in every thing you do, from here on. Your tears are a release from the inner pain you are feeling, let them flow. Others grieve differently, and may “seem ok” but that does not mean they are “finished grieving.” We never finish mourning those we loved, we just find a way to cope with it, in order to survive.
I hope you will feel your Granddad’s presence. and it will soon bring you comfort. Continue to talk to him and share these milestones. He will never leave your heart and your memories. Take your time, and let us know how you are keeping. There are so many kind folks on this site that will support you. With caring thoughts. Sister2

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My Grandparents were my parents and I lost them recently all close together. It has been so strange without them and I can’t move on either. It feels wrong to continue without them and I remember approaching my driving test a year ago (I’m 19 now) thinking how pleased they’d be. Maybe that should bring a little bit of comfort that he would be so genuinely proud of what you are achieving. Other than that, unfortunately I don’t know either. In this together huh?

Rebecca x

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